To death do us part.


Ross I promised I would write you a short story and want to keep that promise to you.
So here you go. I started it awhile ago now but had to finish it. Yep I know it’s crap but can’t do much better right now sorry. I’m just sorry I never got to read yours.


The morning sun tries to shimmer through the out fall of the world’s end, the city of Brighton has turned to the city of the walking dead, only few survive and fight for a future, fighting off the friends and family they once held dear in the heart.
A couple stay hidden in their loft space, holding on, to make a future among the zombies that scratch and bang against the door, search for food in their own survival.
Ross and Rose, hold on tight to each other until the walking move on to the next house, in search for their next meal.
They need water and food to get them through the day and decide to venture out against the odds to try to obtain the supplies they need.
Ross, is in his element, a dream come true, shooting at the living dead and protecting his own, while Rose is frightened but battles on throughout it all. As long as they are together, they can battle what ever is thrown at them.
They step a few feet outside and already have to fight. Ross shooting away, his aim is perfect, taking down all zombies that stand in his way of getting his next meal.
Rose stays close to him but gets caught up, as she stumbles in the bushes, as she is grabbed from behind, she struggles to fight off the dead.
Ross comes to her aid and guns down the beasts that try to eat her alive, missing the one that closes in on him, Rose, calls out in panic, as the zombie rips through his skin. Against all odds they make it inside, scared and proud that they made it inside alive.
They hold each other knowing life is about to change and make a promise to never give up until a remedy or cure is found to heal the affected.
As Ross chains hisself to the bed, wanting to stay and protect her. She weeps at what she is about to lose, but determined never to give up on her one true love, her soul mate.
As she sits and watches him change into one that will hunt her, she feels lost, alone and broken. Wanting to give up and join him. She thinks of the promise she made to hold on against what ever is to come and help him heal.
Longing to hold his hand in hers, she sits and watches him pull, push and fight to get to her. She talks to him through her tears about their life and the love that they had for one another in hope that he will understand, and something may pull him back to her.
His strength is to strong and he breaks free, pounding towards her, she stays still and embraces her future, remembering only the times of love in her life, how wonderful it has been with him by her side.
As his teeth skin into her skin, she knows that life as she knows it is over but at least this way they can still be together.

Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.

194C2A28-680C-11E1-A5B7-9548C0839CB1I know I always seem to blog about LOVE but right now its all i can master to think about. If you have ever had the feeling that take over every part of you, you will understand where i am coming from.
To me there are many kinds of love.

Friendship love, where we will do what ever we can to be there for our friends.

Family love. No matter what happens in life, you know that your always be there for each other and no matter how bad a relationship with a family member is, love will always be there.

Child love – wow how do I explain this one. That first kick you feel, the first heart beat you hear, you are already in love. The first time you hold your child in your arms you melt and you know that you have to be the best you can be for them. You declare your life to them.
You will die to protect them. It is unconditional love.

And then there is the love for your partner.
Well what can I say that hasn’t been said before.
All I know is that it over takes your mind, heart and soul.
You can’t get them out of your head, the excitement of being with them builds and builds and drives you so high, you don’t know how to control it.
The longing to be with them, is so painful that time seems to stop and a minute seems like a year.
And when together, every second is so magical, you find it hard to breath.
You can feel your love growing with every word spoken.
You heart races at every kiss and you go weak at the knees at every smile they give you.
I have no words to explain the feeling or how wonderfully delightful it is.
You want to put the world to rights for them, you only want to see their smile, their happiness is all that is important.It’s like no other love on this planet, no other feeling can match this one feeling alone.I have no way to express how deep these feelings affect you.All I know that when that person loves you back, the earth moves and it completes you.Your heart takes flight.This kind of love can not be taken away even on a rainy day.It’s so powerful, you have no way to control it.It’s wonderful.
If you ever feel like this, have these feelings so strongly, never let that go, because I believe this only comes once in a lifetime.

We all shine on…like the moon

blue-moon-wolf-fullIt seems to me lately that, when the moon is full, trouble, upset and struggles rise. Everyone seems troubled.

It has made me think if there is a reason behind this.

We all know the sun affects us, many suffer from S.A.D, so why is if different from the moon.

I have spoken to my dad this morning briefly about, if he believes the moon has an impact on our lives, and he believes it does, but there is no proof to back this up.

His theory is, it’s all to do with water and as the body is mainly made up of water, I don’t fully understand his logic, but the moon affects the tides etc, if it has the power to do this, it has to have some affect on us as human beings.

To me though, the moon only seems to have a bad affect on everyone around me, when at full.

I know I will never get the answer to this as how can this be proven. It just interests me.

Any light you can share on this would be a wonder to read.

Your views and thoughts are dearly welcome.

A heart that never hardens, and a touch that never hurts.

IMAG0526The power of touch, something so special that the world can see but only your can feel. I have never seen the importance of touch and the meaning behind it until about a year ago, when my views were changed and I began to understand how wonderful and powerful a small touch really is.

A small token of a squeeze of the hand when you need support. A stroke of the skin, to know you are wanted. A hug to give either love or support.

In the last few days, I have learn more so, how important these little gestures are. The most important one being the holding of hands, so much can be learnt from this alone.
When a hand is in hand, two bodies become one, you bond on a level, that only the two of you can feel.
You gain acceptance and truth, mixed with hope, trust and love. You are suddenly not alone in the strange universe, you have meaning for existing.
And while I do not know where I am going with this blog or its point or purpose, I know deep within my heart, the words and meaning I am trying to say, and as they get lost before I can find away to express the feeling that run through my soul and I have no way to explain, what I’m desperately trying to get across, I know right now I’m lost and alone, but I have full understanding that when his hand is in mine that life becomes beautiful all over again, that when he touches my skin, I become alive. When our lips met, I’m no longer alone.
No words are needed when our two souls exchange the simplest touch. Words lose their meaning and I can feel the gift he is giving me, from one movement alone.
So maybe the meaning to this blog, is, to try to say, don’t always use words, speak loader than that, for words are just words, it’s what lies in the heart that matters, it’s the touch, the soul and the eyes that will speak volumes on levels that can never be expressed in words.
Hold the one you love, speak though bodies not through words imbedded in you head since birth. There is more to life than speech.
The song posted below even though cheesy, sums it up perfectly.

Have a good day guys, and if you love someone show them.

A smile is happiness you’ll find right under your nose.

things-that-make-me-smileThe true meaning behind a smile, for days when someone close to you needs a hand in finding something to smile about, just smile at them and I’m sure you will see their smile hit their lips, as it is contagious.
A smile is like a touch, its acceptance, it’s so many things.
A smile can evoke powerful emotions in us. It can change our mood and raise our happiness levels. A smile can start a conversation and says so much without saying a word. A smile can change our world. A smile is magical.

A true smile to me doesn’t just stay at your lips it shines through in your eyes, its you soul telling the world you are happy. And when you can smile alone, you know you really mean it.
A smile is appealing, beautiful and cherished. It puts the world to rights and heals even the most broken hearts, even if only for a short time.

So why should we smile more ?

  • When a person smiles, he will make the atmosphere more cheerful.
  • A smile makes you more attractive.
  • A smile makes the immune system work better.
  • People who like to smile make people around him feel comfortable and happy.
  • A smile can trick the body so change feeling.
  • A smile will reduce stress and make the mind more clearly.
  • A smile can produce endorphins, which create a natural sense, and serotonin.A smile keeps you looking and feeling young.

When that smile hits your lips and spreads around your body, wow what a wonderful feeling. Happiness is a wonderful energy, that is like no other feeling. So powerful it can change you in many different ways. I truly havent felt happiness like I have felt in the last year, and even when I have my low days, when I’m hard work and way to emotional, I never lose that happiness imbedded in my heart, for I know that, the bad times will pass and throughout it all, there is always hope and love.

When I loose my smile, I know a certain person can lift me with just a simple smile on his face. I know that, that is all it takes to turn my day around.

I will leave you with this poem my dad, quoted to me this morning and I hope it brightens your day. Smile and the world will smile with you. 🙂

Smiling is infectious,
You catch it like the flu,
When someone smiled at me today,
I started smiling, too.

I passed around the corner
And someone saw my grin
When he smiled I realized
I’d passed it on to him.

I thought about that smile
Then I realized its worth,
A single smile, just like mine
Could travel round the earth.

So, if you feel a smile begin,
Don’t leave it undetected
Let’s start an epidemic quick,
And get the world infected!

Is there more to see than you think ?

telepathy500aThis week has been for me, a week of learning and opening up my mind to uncover, what I really believe. From the fear of the number 13, (see my last blog), to numerology, to Psychics.

Numerology is something I would like to delve deeper into, what I have read so far has been fascinating. (Thanks Donna for the loan of the book.)

Today we have spent a good few hours talking and looking into Psychics.

Before I start, I should state that Ross is a non-believer, his mum is a believer and if I’m honest, I am not really sure what to believe, but I hope there is some truth in the psychic world. I guess right now, I am more of a believer than not.

I have been to Palm readers, Aura reading, Card readings and Healers. I mostly came away from them with a feeling of, I got at least a few truths, and connected with my loved ones that have left us. (The main reason I visited in the first place.)

Did my body language give too much away? Was I being cold read ?

I’m sure in parts I was, but I was told details that no one ever knew about, factors of my life that were and still are very private, and that I have only told to a very few people who I trust with my life. How did they know this if they are meant to be fake?

I understand and agree that they do cold read you and that you can tun around any comment to something you have had happen, or felt in your life, but to me, the unexplained information that they have known has kept me from totally dismissing that they are all fake.

I have heard so many stories of truth behind psychics, I have put my own faith in them in times of need.

Do we long to hear that a loved one is with us, that we will believe a stranger, who tells us what we want to hear. I’m sure we have all felt at one time in our lives, that we would give anything to be with our lost ones just one more time, to know they are safe and happy in the unknown world that maybe we move onto after death.

Does wanting this comfort make us, fall into a trap of, trusting who ever can give us, the few words of hope, that our loved ones are still here and we have not lost them.

I know I personally hope that this is the case and have paid my hard cash to get this comfort.

Having been given that, even if it is true or not, I benefitted from it, so is it really that much of a sin, to be giving your customer what they wish to hear, that in turn will help them over come a lose.

Or maybe just maybe it is wrong, to deceive them and give them lies just to earn a few dollars. Right or wrong this has been dated back to ancient times.

I strongly believe there are people out there, that will just use cold calling and who claim to be psychic just for the money, but how can we decide who has a gift or not ? It’s such a tricky one.

Why is it so many slate them because they can not see or understand the images, and visions that a psychic claims to see, when billions of people follow the bible. They pray to a God that we have no evidence is real. Why is this not questioned? Religion has caused more harm than good in my eyes (This is my own personal opinion, no harm is meant), wars happen ever day because they believe in a story book. So why can’t people open their eyes and minds and look deeper into the unknown?

Maybe the world needs to start viewing things through new eyes. An open mind can do wonders for the soul.




“Fear is the enemy of logic.” Triskaidekaphobia

5814495_l_1361636397Triskaidekaphobia  is fear of the number 13.

Sadly I admit that the number 13, has been imbedded in the brain as unlucky, I do not know why or how I began to have this fear, but unfortunately it can play havoc with my life. I can not have the volume on my tv or I Pod on 13, for some reason also it can not be on an odd number. My  I Tunes, play counts can not be on 13 or and number with the number 3 as to me they all link to the number 13. Even writing the number over and over in this blog makes me feel uncomfortable.

I have been thinking about why I have this fear and how true it really is, that a number can be unlucky.

My dad, being a Spiritualist, sees the number 13 as lucky, and I have often questioned why for some it is lucky and others not.

I have spent this morning researching what the reasons are. Which has left my mind bubbling over so many different topics, and still I hold no answer to if 13 is unlucky or not.

There are so many reasons quoted over the internet, to try to explain why we fear the number 13, I have yet to come across any real hard facts and figures. It seems the main reason is to do with the bible.

  • “There were 13 people at the Last Supper. It’s said that Judas Iscariot — the one who betrayed Jesus — was the 13th man to take his place at the table.”

(Mark 14: 17-21) “And it was in the evening that he came with the twelve. As as they were at the table eating, Jesus said ‘Truly, I say to you, one of you will betray me, one who is eating with me.’ They began to be sorrowful, and to say to him one after another ‘Is it I?’ He said to them, “It is one of the twelve, one who is dipping in the same dish with me. For the Son of man goes as it is written of him, but woe to that man by whom the Son of man is betrayed! It would have been better for that man if he had not been born.’ ”

One of the most popular theories is the arrest and killing of Knights Templar members ordered by the Pope on Friday 13 October, 1307. The French monarch King Phillip IV and Pope Clement V together set up an elaborate plan to completely destroy the Templars, sending out secret, sealed orders across Christendom to be opened and immediately acted upon at a set date. It is said that the date was believed to be Friday the 13th. On 13 October 1307, Philip IV ordered the arrest of the entire order of Knights Templar in France, and had their possessions confiscated. This act served as one of several origins of the superstition which regards Friday the 13th as an unlucky day.

Other reasons are……

  • Traditionally, there used to be 13 steps leading up the gallows.
  • Apollo 13 is the only unsuccessful moon mission
  • There was a mass arrest and execution of the Knights Templar on Friday, October 13, 1307.
  • A coven was made up of exactly 13 members.
  • There’s an old superstition that says if you have 13 letters in your name, you’re bound to have the devil’s luck.
  • In numerology, the number 12 is considered to be the representation of perfection and completion.
  • Jesus was crucified Friday the 13th, it was possibly something like Friday, April 3, 33 A.D. (Where they got this from I really dont know.)
  • A year which contained 13 full moons instead of 12 posed problems for the monks who were in charge of the calendars. “This was considered a very unfortunate circumstance, especially by the monks who had charge of the calendar of thirteen months for that year, and it upset the regular arrangement of church festivals. For this reason thirteen came to be considered an unlucky number.
  • Greek philosophers called 13 an ‘imperfect’ number.
  • Friday was the common day for people to be hanged in the past.
  • Hangmen were once paid thirteen pence halfpenny.

I could carry on all day listing reasons into the so-called facts of unlucky 13.
But to me right now I am more interested in what makes it lucky. Maybe these reasons will cause me to change a habit of a life time and I will no longer fear, what really is just a number.

The Number 13 is a lucky number for many reasons.

  • In the Tarot, the number thirteen is represented in the Death card, which is symbolic of,Transition, Change, Inevitability.
  • According to some mythologists, 13 is a “female number.” A woman has 13 menstrual cycles a year. 13 is the number of blood, fertility, and lunar potency.
  • 13 was associated with everlasting life.
  • The Wheel of the Year – the 13 lunar esbats.(full moons).
  • Egyptians associated the number thirteen with immortality.
  • There were twelve steps on the ladder to eternal life and knowledge; the thirteenth step meant going through death into everlasting life.
  • Angel Number 13 is a message from your angels that some upheavals may take place in your life. This is happening for karmic reasons and will break new ground for you that will bring about new opportunities for you to grow spiritually. The angels ask that you adapt to changes gracefully. Angel Number 13 may be a ‘blessing in disguise.

I am still confused on what to believe, but right now I’m liking the lucky 13 ideas, shouldn’t we all be thinking of the positive and not the negative. Wouldn’t life be a little more simple if we all looked for the good, if we let fear slide away.

So here’s a fresh start for me, I’m going to try break a habit of a lifetime, I’m going to let the positive in and stamp out the fear and negative, I’m going to put my volume up to 13 😉 and research a fear of many ” The dreaded 666″


Why do married folks begin to look like one another?

old couplesI have always been fascinated with the faces of the elderly, they tend to tell a story, every line is there for a reason, through laughter or pain but have you ever noticed that when an elderly couple are walking hand in hand, sitting in the park or on deck chairs on the sea front, they resembling each other.

Ross an I have spoken about this a few times and wondered why couples take on the forms of each other?

Even though we have only been in a relationship for a short while, we both have noticed that we have picked up each other ways, and habits, we can even finishing each other sentences for each other. Is this the start of us, warping into each other?

Research suggested that older couples looked more alike because people in close contact mimic each other’s facial expressions. Eg, if your partner has a good sense of humor and laughs a lot, he or she will probably develop laughter lines and so will you because you are laughing with them.

While researching, I came across the below comment……This seems to make sence to me, I like this one 🙂

“When you kiss someone playfully and passionately, you try to both contort your mouth and face so that it is symmetrical with each other.Now imagine a loving couple that does this lots of time ? After a while (say about 3 years of this type of similar facial muscle exercise that kissing induces) your facial features start to take on each others shapes. The facial muscle is like say the biceps which contorts and transforms if you use it all the time as in weightlifting. It changes to suit whatever activity you are doing. So basically all am saying is that if a couple starts to look like each other during marriage, that’s the giveaway that they are a loving couple who indulge in lots of passionate kisses.”

Robert Zajonc, a psychologist, states as you grow old, “lots of distinguishing features drop away, like flesh on the skin or hair on the head,” Rushton says. “It’s more the bony structure of the skeleton that’s showing through.” ( Ross’s favorite)

Recent reasearch shows the we fall in love with a person that has an  DNA that is similar to our own and that is why you start to look like each other. Does this explain why, they say a guy will always go for someone similar to their mother?

What I don’t understand is, how do you know you have a similar DNA? And why do they say that opposites attract, if we fall for someone who is very similar to ourselves? Hmmmm the mind bubbles.

It will be interesting to see if many years from now, if our grandchildren will look at Ross and I and ponder the same questions, as why we look a like.




If our live’s had absolutely no limits…….

4964326736_67c32274d7_zIf our lives had absolutely no limits and you could have it all and do whatever you wanted, what would you choose?
I’m sure we all dream of this every weekend when we buy our lotto tickets. Picturing, Long beach holidays, winter homes, fast cars, swimming pools, everything that we think money could buy to make us happy.
And I’m sure it would make us happy for a while, but if we look a little deeper, would it really?
I believe in the short-term, I among many others would lap up the long relaxing holidays, sitting in the sun, no cares or worries.

Endless shopping trips, maybe our own yachts or planes, all our dreams come true.
I find myself pondering if this would truly make me happy ?
Yes it would make life easier and a pleasure, but I deeply believe that this would only be short-lived.
For in my eyes, it not the things in my life that make me happy, it’s the people in it.
As an everyday normal person, I know that my friends are with me because they like me for who I am, if I suddenly had an endless pot of anything I or they needed, how would I know if they were there for me or what I could give them. With having the world at your hands and the roads wide open, how would that change me as a person.
Everything would be too easy, isn’t it more pleasure to work for what you want to achieve, isn’t the frill of getting to your end goal, the glory, knowing you have worked damn hard to get there. The pride you feel when you have saved for that holiday, new pair of shoes, deposit on your first flat/home etc.
You know you have sweated blood to get there, and even though you have battled the whole way through, doesn’t that make it even more enjoyable.
For me, if I was given the world in my hands right now, I think I would ask for it to be split between others as even though my life isn’t perfect, and there are bills to pay, food to buy and clothes to warm my babies, I don’t think I would want it any other way.
I already have the world in my hands, I have everything I ever wanted, in love and friendship, the rest doesn’t matter. I don’t care if my tv is smaller than the guy next doors, or my clothes don’t live up to the latest fashion, if my car isn’t a new plate. I have what my heart desires, I have love, a family and wonderful friends. I can’t ask for more than that.
Life isn’t the perfect picture, but it is filled with the most delicious moments, that pretty damn perfect in my books.

Chains of habit are too light to be felt until they are too heavy to be broken.

we-inhabit-the-corrosive-littoral-of-habitWhile flying back to the UK, last week, my self and my good friend Porter, had a deep and meaningful convo about habit.

We found ourself asking if it is a good thing or not ?

While we all get sucked into the habit, of the way we run our lives, the little annoying things we do, like eg washing the car, mowing the garden every Sunday morning. Is it a good thing to stick to routine or habit? Can we break away from these as easy as we made them? Does it show our characters, or passion in having things just the way we want things to be.

Do we let these over take our lives and thoughts?

Habit runs rings around us in everything we do, not just in the way we plan our days, it plays a massive part in work and love.

Do we slug out everyday at the office, just because we know what we are doing, it’s the norm. All the while we sit and day-dream of what we could be doing, the perfect job, the dream, that we have never got around to following, because habit has nipped us in the butt and kept us from following our hearts.

As for our hearts, does habit, keep us from breaking free from a relationship that you may not want to be in, but you know no different. I myself have done this in the past, I can happily say now that I am free from those chains, and I’m in a relationship because I want to be and Love my partner.

Those chains can be broken, and trust me when you do, the world opens up to you, you breathe for the first time, there is no greater feeling than when you walk away from maybe the job you hate or a loveless marriage, your lungs fill with air, you feel free.

Is it really habit the gets you stuck in a rut or is it fear ?

I always believed it was habit, but now, I can see fear has always been the devil sat on my shoulder, keeping me locked away from breaking free, living out my dreams.

Fear is the over all emotion, that keeps us from living and loving.

Fear is just an emotion and with the right mind, it can be over come.

Close your eyes and picture how you want your life to be, hold on to those thoughts and breath, Now think ” What is stopping me ? ”

Go out and get it.

Change can only be made by you, you’re in control, the ruler of you life. Be true to yourself and follow your dreams, follow your partners dream and be happy.

In the words of Bob Marly

“Dont worry be happy.”