Silence has become the over powering factor in my life and I have found it hurts more than any words.
My heart is heavy with pain and there is no way to run away, for how can one run from their own sorrow.
What makes it worse is I know I’m to blame, that I’m the down fall to my life and heartbreak.
And in doing the right thing and trying to show what I have to prove, it pushes me deeper into the black hole I have opened open. Rejection is one nasty son of a bi***
I know in my mind that I shouldn’t have to prove anything, that if he ever did feel as I do, that he should trust me.
I should be angry, sadly I can not find this emotion because the love and longing to see him, just hear his voice, over takes every other emotion.
I’ve never missed anyone or anything as much as I do him.
Love when you are loved back is amazing. Right now though it extremely agonizing.
All I want, just an hour, just to show that I’m not all the bad things he’s thinking.
All I have done wrong is love to much.
Gave my heart and my life to who I still believe is my soul mate.
Silence now is unbearable and I am loosing hope of ever seeing him, hearing him.
I can’t see anyway I can live with the silence anymore.
I just can’t bare it, all I needed was a little hope, just a small token, to make life worth fighting for.
Right now there is just nothing.