My life is my message – A career is wonderful, but you can’t curl up with it on a cold night.


Part one

School is over, need to get my self into gear and get a job. I decide to undertake a YTS in care. (NVQ) My mum always worked in nursing homes and she always told me how lonely they were. That no one visited them, that they all had wonderful stories to tell about the war etc.

I thought that maybe I could give them  somebody to talk to and a friendly face to look at, my love for history and war stories, would also be imbedded with new information.
I had also done my work experience in a care home and loved it, got to spend a lot of time chatting with them, taking them for walks and we got free dinners, bonus as I’m no cook. Trust me, I’m pretty useless in the kitchen.
So I leave school, have a fast holiday and start my first day.
Nurses uniform on, my my this isn’t as sexy as all the guys think it is.
What a wake up call I got, when I arrive at six thirty in the morning to start my first day at mount care home.
Sent straight into the laundry room to get clean bedding. Spent the morning striping beds and cleaning. Hmmm thought I was meant to be being trained in care, not a cleaner.
Laying the tables came next, had to re-do the whole lot as I’m left handed and laid the tables up the way I would use a knife and folk, I learnt that lesson fast.
 My day consisted of cleaning, more cleaning, tea and coffee rounds, the only time I saw any of the residents.
Free dinner was awful, liver and bacon, my worst nightmare. It was made worse by the fact I had just cleaned my first bedpan, and no not number ones. I gagged for at least any hour after that.
All in all, this job wasn’t what I thought it would be but I slugged it out and over time I began to love it.  I made time to sit and chat and they were wonderful people.
A few dirty old men, who would try and lift my dress with their walking sticks. Fair play to them for trying. Got to laugh really, poor guys just have old women to look at all day. Dribble and all.
I stayed working here for about a year, loved most of it, the people were a delight to spend time with and most of the staff were ok, apart from one.
My god she was a right old dragon. If she walked into the room, you soon made a fast exit. How she worked in care was beyond me. She should have been running a prison.
Between her and one patient making work unpleasant I left this job without having any idea what I would do next.
So I enrolled in a careers program trying to find out what I wanted to do.
Now that is a hard one to work out, I still don’t really know what I want to really do for a career.
Well this collage course lasted about 6 months, 6 months of pure dosing around with a great bunch of people from all different lifestyles and backgrounds.
Can’t say I got much out of it apart from a good laugh, great mates and lots of hangovers. Got to say a damn good six months. Well worth it. Learnt to massage here, so extra bonus.
So from here I went into retail, yep worked in a shop selling fruit and veg and herbal stuff.
I worked for Apples and pears until I was 18 nearly 19 and sadly the shop closed down, I’m assuming due to the likes of tescos and Salisburys putting them out of business, a real shame I loved that job, think I would have been happy working for them forever.
The team were so sound, down to earth guys, who laughed and joked constantly. Jokes were played nearly everyday and always had grapes and strawberries put in my clothes and bag. No not as a gift but smashed up so everything was covered.
We use to make box houses and boats out back, and pretend we lived in them.
Think I went clubbing for the first time with the crew from a & p. Awesome nights out had with these guys.
Favourite part was doing the markets, loved it. Seeing new faces and people watching as I tried to flog my bananas.
They were good days, I was out of the house and kinda free. Work was so much better than being at home and it put a few bob in my pocket.
Evenings were spent working to.
Cooking pizza, how I pulled that off I don’t know, I can’t cook pizza if my life relied on it.
A tip to you all though, don’t be snotty on the phone when ordering, because you really don’t know what will end up in you dinner 😉
Maybe a fly or some chilli sprinkles added. Yep I’m bad I know, but we have all done it.
So that leads me to the big one, I know a few people are waiting to read.
How did I get into the fashion industry ?
Sorry you’re going to have to wait for part two on this one, as still can’t work out how to get the docs off my old hard drive.
Won’t be long though, I’m itching to share this one with you….. Mainly one person really, not that I even know if he will ever read it.

“The greatest treasures are those invisible to the eye but found by the heart.”

imagesAs I wait to upload my next blog, few technical issues, getting a few photos and documents I want to post with it off an old pc.
I thought I would share with you a few poems that are dear to me, yes you guessed right, they are either from me to Ross, or Ross to me.
All meaning something deep, one which I wont say which, is so special and beautiful. I adore it.


In this world full of hurt and pain,
I need someone who would help me through the rain.
To comfort me when Im sad,
Doing everything just to make me glad.
In this world I need a Brave Knight,
Who would never give up any fight.
A knight who would dry away my tears,
Telling me to overcome my fears.
A knight who loves me for who I am inside,
With him there’s nothing more I need to hide.
A person who will still be standing strong,
Eventhough everything has gone wrong.
I need someone who is willing to give me more,
Someone I can call my Knight In Shining Armor.

Lilly’s on a peaceful river
Or petals in the wind
Violins playing at an opera
Earrings made from pearls
Your beauty exceeds all of these
Outside you are a wonder
Underneath… where to begin!
Rare is such a marvel
Only seen in few
Some people never see it
Everything is you

You were falling deeper into my heart, even from the very first start.
I knew that we would never part, you are the girl – deep in my heart.
You took my hand, now please understand. You are the one I want and desire
You are the one girl who lights my fire, and keeps my soul flying higher and higher.
You were always telling me how your feelings grew stronger, your feelings for me – which was now stronger.
My feelings for you – which could not wait any longer.
You were counting the days, like if there was no other ways.
I was counting the days, I wanted you so well, oh now please tell, is it heaven or hell
We were both counting the days, we missed each other always
Till that day came, and you called my name, at last we would be together again
You and me, just by the sea, all alone, with not a care in the world
Just you and me, we were both to see, it was now you and me
Me and you, our feelings could not be more of true, you and me, and the sky shining blue
All I ever wanted… Was to get this message right to your heart, to let you know how I feel
How I always wanted to do, all I desire is you

Lost in a blinding hot shower of stars
My world has contracted to fit in your arms
Enveloped in you and I cannot be saved
As my heart leaps towards you, bound by its cage
Every last nerve ending searing with fire
As my conscience is slowly consumed by desire
The taste of your lips and the scent of your skin
Where love and the rest of my life will begin
And as my last defences collapse at your feet
I surrender myself in becoming complete.

The day you came into my life
everything changed;
you brought happiness,
you brought hope,
you brought contentment.
And most of all,
you brought love;
a love so amazing,
a love so powerful,
a love too beautiful
to ever be defined.
The day you came into you life
you gave me everything,
and I’ll love you always

Out of all the people in the world
Out of all the places
Somehow, something brought
The two of us together
At the right place
At the right time
Maybe it was a plan
Maybe it was fate
Maybe it was luck
Whatever it was,
I’m grateful for that moment
Because it brought me to you
My soul mate.

You’re on my mind All of the time i hear your voice So tender and deep
The words you speak Ring in my ears Until I fall asleep
Thoughts of you Wait until I awake
Consuming my mind The whole day through
Fantasizing about you
Imagining your face Coming closer to mine
Anticipating the feel Of your sweet lips Resting on mine
I can only imagine Such a moment
To be no less than divine