I’ve just been told to let it all out, so here goes, but where to start.
Life right now is a living nightmare. Everything that could possibly go wrong has. My life is in pieces and no matter what I try to do it never seems to make a difference.
But I’m determined not to let life get the better of me, as they say
” Worse things happen at sea”
That’s what my life feels like now, I’m stuck in my middle of the ocean, a drift and a dreadful storm has taken control of the boat.
My life is now in someone else’s hands.
Will I survive ?
All I need is a little hope and maybe just maybe I can hold on and fight until I’m on safe land.
Reaching out to get just a seed of hope, of a light that I can grasp hold of, that will draw me back from the ever-growing dark place I sink deeper into.
I know that with that, I can once again see that life can be worth living, I can once again see how beautiful life can be.
Only yesterday for a few hours I could feel that, I felt complete, and even through the pain and heartache I knew that things could once again be how they should be.
No words can describe how I felt for those few hours.
How lucky I felt to have them. How natural it felt and how truly blessed I was to have that time.
Now though after sitting for hours talking to a complete stranger about my hopes,dreams, fears and mistakes I feel more alone than ever.
I feel more lost and tormented then I have ever felt.
How does talking about your past, your present and your future run you down so low. I thought counselling was meant to help not make you want to reach out for a blade.
I’ve made a promise not to do that, one I will keep.
For now though its taking all my will power to stay on top of this.
Here’s hoping the things will look brighter tomorrow and roll on next weekend when hopefully that light will shine so brightly, I’m blinded by it.