Jumping ahead …… My life is my message.

imageJumping forward a good 10 years ( I will fill in the gaps I promise.)
I’m now working for a company in London, designing fashion shows, but this blog is not about that.
It’s personal.
It’s about a very rough time in my life.
From a rocky relationship, my sister dying, falling pregnant, meeting Ross to giving birth to my beautiful daughter Marly-Kate.

I go for that all important interview that starts of a spiral of bad events.
I get the job, now looking back I wish I hadn’t taken it, even though a few things have come from me slugging my guts out, I have lost everything mainly because of it.

At my interview I met this guy and he asks me out on a date.
I think why not, I have nothing to lose, it’s just a date after all. Nothing ever seems to come of them. Maybe that’s down to my walls being to high and not letting people in.
Well the date went ok and we ended up dating for a short while.
Matt later became the blood father of Marly-Kate.
In the short time we dated, he cheated and cheated more behind my back.
I just took it, I guess I just didn’t care enough to let it upset me.
We were more friends than partners, and yes I was wrong for the reasons I stayed with him, I was lonely in a strange city.
We draw further and further apart, which I wasn’t to bothered about, I sank my head into work, which caused problems.
Then the worst thing happened, I got a call saying my beloved sister had passed away.
Shock took over and heart-break.
Jane was not just a sister but one of my best friends.
I flew to Paris to be with my family.
Journeys to Paris always since have been hard, I now can not stand to be there.
Matt flaw out a few days later, he knew I did not want him there, which proved to be the end of that relationship.
I told him to leave as I had to be with my family who needed me more than him.
And then I find out I’m pregnant, now that was a shock and a half. And if I’m honest, could not have come at a worse time.
My life was an emotional roller coaster at this time.
I decided to do the right thing and try to work things out with matt, we tried for a few weeks but on returning to his after work, I found him making out with one of the women I work with.
Last straw, I was gone.
There was a little more to my leaving than that, I had become friends with this amazing guy on Facebook, we spoke most days and there was a connection there, that I hadn’t felt with anyone in the past. This guy was incredible, he made me laugh and smile and forget all my worries.
He was my knight. He saved me from a dark place, and just from words, as yet we hadn’t met.
Within weeks, feelings of friendship had turned to much more, feelings I have never felt before, and did not understand.
Yes I was falling in love with him.
I can hear you now saying

” how when you have never met”

That didn’t matter, to me it’s about what lies deep within a person’s soul, the personality.
It’s where the true beauty lie.
I was totally crazy about him, and still am but more so.

Anyway months go by and I have to return to Paris. I’m leaving work to have the baby and have to sign off paperwork relating to a show.
Work all finished with and I’m all ready to return to England, to have the date I have longed for.
And then my waters break, 10 weeks early, within hours Marly-Kate was born.

She was taken away, without me even seeing her, I was left alone to wonder what was happening to the tiny baby girl I had given birth to.
I can’t express to you the fear I felt for the hours I was left alone, not knowing what was happening.
All I wanted was to see her, for Ross to be with me, I longed for him to be with me.
Finally I was allowed to she her.
Sitting by Marly-Kate’s incubator, watching her struggle to breath, fighting to stay alive, my thoughts run wild, how could I make something so beautiful, tiny and perfect. As I gazed at her, one wish comes to mind, how I wish that she was Ross’s, that he could be sat here, finger in her hand, smile on his face, knowing he is her daddy.
She was so desperately ill and I needed him to be with us.
I wanted him with us.
Months went by and Marly-Kate became worse, she fought everyday to stay alive. She’s a true fighter. She never gave up.
Ross was always there, throughout the bad and the good times, my hero, he was suffering too, not being able to be with us.
Life was hard really hard, living in a hospital, day in day out.
No wonder depression set in, which has been a nightmare in my life ever since.
Marly-Kate is healthier than she has ever been.
And in time she will grow stronger and I know she will never give up her fight. She one brave little princess.
Maybe she should teach mummy how to be so strong.

DJ with a twist….. My life is my message

catwalkPoster_t670As my hard drive is going to get recovered, sorry you still have to wait for my work blog, in the, My life is my message, category. Won’t be long now.

So I thought I would give you a little in sight of what I do, well did. For the people that don’t know already I worked designing fashion shows, from start to finish.

So let me tell you how it is done.

There are a few ways, that we are handed a show, either a design would contact us, show us a line and we would have to work around the design they give us, to be honest this bores me and I have not got involved with many of these, the rules a strict and you do not have the freedom to create.

The other way is, that you have totally freedom, this is normally the case with charity events, and my passion lies here. Total freedom to design and use your mind to its limit, I will say this doesn’t always go down well, if you go a little to far out there.

I will talk you through this way of designing a show.

First things first you come up with a theme, you either can do this alone or you can work with the charity in hand.

Normally I would come up with two or three themes, ideas and put this before the board. They would consult and pick what they would like to go for.

So let me pick a theme for you, so I can show you how this is done.

Lets go with “Mods and Rockers “ a fantastic era so I’m told.

The mods and rockers were two rival ‘tribes’ in the sixties. They believed in different value and fashion ideals. It was the mods obsession with style, which severely contrasted with the Rockers’ love of leather and motorbikes.

Mods were known for being stuck-up and snobby, while trying to emulate the middle-class with their choice of style. Mod boys wore tailor-made suits with neat narrow trousers and pointed shoes, which were later nicknamed winklepickers, while the girls played up to a boyish image by darkening their eyes and cutting their hair short. Female mods dressed like men wherever possible, championing short haircuts, their boyfriend’s trousers and shirts, flat shoes and very little make-up. Pale foundation with brown eye shadow was the look of choice, accompanied with false eyelashes and pale pink lipstick. The Mods also adopted styles from both Italian and French styles to try and make them stand out from the crowd, and to combat the rockers who in their opinion were stuck in a 1950s time warp, with their American greaser look and love of leather.

Males loved to wear thin ties, tailor made suits, v-neck jumpers and had hairstyles which imitated the look of the French Nouvelle Vague cinema actors of the era, such as Jean-Paul Belmondo.

A few of the mods even went against the norms of the era by wearing eyeliner, lipstick and eye shadow, again to make them stand out from the crowd. They were immaculate and well presented in the way they dressed themselves each day, which was in stark contrast to the Rockers of the period.

Rockers loved to champion leather jackets too and slick back their hair with grease, which was an evolution of the Teddy Boy look sported in the 50s. Their love was Rock and Roll, championing Elvis Presley as their idol and rejecting any ideas of fashion. They were often described as a British version of the Hell’s Angels with their scruffy, masculine and ‘bad boy’ image, they were about as far removed as they could get from the mods.

Rockers and their style was practicality rather than what was in style, wearing heavily decorated leather jackets often customized with metal studs, patches and pins. (Cool)

The only fashionable element to their whole attire was their white silk scarf they wore when riding on their hog, complete with open face helmet and aviator goggles.

Levi’s jeans, leather trousers and Daddy-O-style shirts were popular among the young rockers, while their elaborate hairstyle was kept in place with Brylcreem pomade.

So there you have it we have our style, now to track down a designers, ( I prefer working with very small companies, that want to get noticed, putting their clothes into a show is a great way to get noticed.)

Lots of phone calls later, meeting and looking at clothes, sometimes when working with a good designer they even let you try them on, a great bonus, if you ask me.

Next up, book a venue, in charity shows we normally put on a dinner dance as well. So a hotel or a club has been our favorites to date. I don’t really get involved in this part, so really can’t tell you much more about that part. Bonsus with a club the dj is already there.

Hotels dj’s and sound systems have to be booked.

So onto designing the stage/Catwalk.

Mainly we would go the standard Catwalk just the straight walk. Most companies would use the floor a marked out area, where the models will walk, sorry but I find that just boring, isn’t it our jobs to entertain the paying guests.

I would normally have a stage built with would house lighting and the theme brought into the stage, (Pictures will be added to my work blog to show you what I mean)

Getting this right is properly the hardest part of the job, but you have to get it right, it all has to flow together to make the over all look work.


Once done and in the making, its on to the fun part, and where I get my name “DJ with a twist”

Sound track time whoop, love this part, get to listen to music for days and get paid for it. Can’t beat that can you.

Researching starts on the theme at hand, so Mods and Rockers.

The rockers were big fans of 1950’s Rock and Roll, and favored white American artists such as Elvis Presley, Gene Vincent and Eddie Cochran whilst the Mods generally favored 1960s rhythm and blues, soul and ska by black American and Jamaican musicians, although many of them also liked British R&B/beat groups such as The Who, The Small Faces and The Yardbirds.


Mods listened to Ska, Bluebeat and Motown, as well as American R&B, but British R&B-based ‘beat’ bands quickly became a key part of Mod culture: the Small Faces, Kinks, Zombies, Animals, Spencer Davis Group, Yardbirds, Creation and, of course, the most famous of the lot, The Who.


Now you have an idea of what they listened to its time to make pick out about half an hour of music for both the Mod look and the Rocker look. This is really important, it has to flow together and it has to be to everyone’s taste, you are safe with the classics.

Classics always work, people can relate to them, hence why they are uses so freely on TV ads. If you haven’t noticed this, I’m sure you will now.

They catch your attention and stay in your mind, you then relate to the song with the ad. It’s very clever how it work.

The same goes for a show, One piece of music can trigger a memory of their visit to the show, a piece of clothing they like, and maybe it may just get them to go out and buy that memory, e.g piece of clothing.


When picking your sound track, it is important the you get two tracks right above the rest, the first song has to draw them in, wanting them to watch more.

And the final song, it has to blow their minds, leave them smiling, and singing in their heads.

Simple really, its just embedding a memory in their mind, making them remember that night for a lifetime.

So we have the clothes, venue, music and stage sorted, what’s next.

Models, now this is tricky, models can be a pain in the neck.

Spending hours looking through files for the right look, sizes (sometimes) and most important to me the right personality.

I hate this part of the job. If I can I fog it off to someone else I will. To be honest that is mainly the case.

If you are designing your own low key show, this really isn’t a problem, just use friends and family, use car boats for clothing and the look will come together, you can always make your own clothes to. You never know you may get orders from it and make yourself a few bob.

Ok so the models are booked, now comes pairing them, height size, look and of course, if they get on with each other, models are normally clicky and hot headed, they will only work with certain models which proves hard for us.

With that awful task out the way it’s onto the food and set up of the tables, all I can say here, is it’s like planning a wedding.

I try to tie the food in with the theme if I can, but this doesn’t always work so stick with the classics, roast etc, boring I know but a safe bet, food is a big issue with people, we all have different tastes in food and life so it is sometimes better to play it safe. Just like they do at weddings.

Next up, I try to make goody bags for the guests, something they can take away with them, and smile at the next morning.

Mainly in these I just put a little token gift and samples of new perfume, aftershave, make up etc,

It’s just a little extra, that I believe makes the evening.


With that all done, its now down to time, rehearsals and more rehearsals. That’s a scary bit, see all your hard work come together. Did you get it right, praying you have.

It has to be fantastic, people have paid there hard earned money for this night.

9 out of 10 times it normally works out.

So there you have it, that’s what I did for a job, that was my life and passion.

How things change, but keep checking back to see, how they have changed.

Take care guys and have a good day.