It’s a pirates life for us …… Someday when the pages of my life end, I know that you will be the most beautiful chapters.

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4th July 2012.

(Date 3 – yesterday)

Morning handsome, sorry I didn’t write last night, was late when I got home.Yesterday, wow, best day ever. Got to say you have made me see Portsmouth in a new light.

Can’t believe what a truly wonderful day that was.

Can’t wait to go back to the docks with you and see more.

Having trouble working out what was my best part about our date. So hard,  all of it was just bloody brilliant.

Got to admit, I felt like a kid again, running around playing with all the cool games, watching you try and fly a helicopter. Hee hee, that was a giggle.

And the cinema, well what can I say, no popcorn throwing but sure felt like  being at high school, making out in the back row 😉

The victory was awesome to, still think we should have stolen her. We are pirates you know 🙂

But you know what tops off the day, meeting Mads. She’s so lovely, but on top of that you held my hand and supported me, when my anxiety kicked it, you never left my side, that touched my heart more than you know.
I’m sorry if I made you look an idiot.
Baby , you’ve left me with a massive smile on my face, love in my heart and an ache in my body (wink wink)
Roll on our next adventure.
Loving you more everyday.
Until later babes x x x

Why can’t a women be more like a man ?

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A women’s mind never stops ticking, we just can’t turn off. Constantly lost in thought, more than likely twisting and turning every thing until we have it totally wrong in our heads, causing problems where there is not any to start with.

So why do we do it ? Why do we run on our emotions, and how come men can just turn it off like a light bulb ? Or can they ? Is it all a cover to what really runs through their brains ?

Are we so different ?

One of the all time classics, sums up to me perfectly what I guessing most men think about women.

Got to admit, this song has given a few giggles. All round fantastic film. A lot can be learnt from it.

Women are irrational, that’s all there is to that!
There heads are full of cotton, hay, and rags!
They’re nothing but exasperating, irritating,
vacillating, calculating, agitating,
Maddening and infuriating hags!

why can’t a woman be more like a man?

Why can’t a woman be more like a man?
Men are so honest, so thoroughly square;
Eternally noble, historic’ly fair;
Who, when you win, will always give your back a pat.
Well, why can’t a woman be like that?
Why does ev’ryone do what the others do?
Can’t a woman learn to use her head?
Why do they do ev’rything their mothers do?
Why don’t they grow up- well, like their father instead?
Why can’t a woman take after a man?
Men are so pleasant, so easy to please;
Whenever you are with them, you’re always at ease.
Would you be slighted if I didn’t speak for hours?

Would you be livid if I had a drink or two?

Would you be wounded if I never sent you flowers?

Well, why can’t a woman be like you?
One man in a million may shout a bit.
Now and then there’s one with slight defects;
One, perhaps, whose truthfulness you doubt a bit.
But by and large we are a marvelous sex!
Why can’t a woman take after like a man?
Cause men are so friendly, good-natured and kind.
A better companion you never will find.
If I were hours late for dinner, would you bellow?

If I forgot your silly birthday, would you fuss?

Would you complain if I took out another fellow?

Well, why can’t a woman be like us?

Mrs. Pearce, you’re a woman…
Why can’t a woman be more like a man?
Men are so decent, such regular chaps.
Ready to help you through any mishaps.
Ready to buck you up whenever you are glum.
Why can’t a woman be a chum?
Why is thinking something women never do?
Why is logic never even tried?
Straight’ning up their hair is all they ever do.
Why don’t they straighten up the mess that’s inside?
Why can’t a woman behave like a man?
If I was a woman who’d been to a ball,
Been hailed as a princess by one and by all;
Would I start weeping like a bathtub overflowing?
And carry on as if my home were in a tree?
Would I run off and never tell me where I’m going?
Why can’t a woman be like me?

So why is it, we women fuss about everything, that we care too much, and run off of every god damn emotion ? Driving ourselves to the point of despair.

And why do men, close down on any feeling that they may have, pretending that it just isn’t happening ?

Why are we so different ? Are we really from two different planets ?

After a little I mean little research on this topic this morning, I have found that we are really not that different.

We all feel, but they just decide to hide it, for many different reasons. From what I have read, they just don’t seem to be able to handle it, so bury their heads in the sand. Out of sight out of mind, so to speck.
Guys, we cant handle it either, if this is a help to you.

Reading forums this morning, most guys admit, they put on a front so they don’t look weak and admit that more than likely they think more than women, but dealing with it through trips to the pub with their mates. Acting the hard guy.

The over all view is

Feelings Are Feminine

Men grow up seeing women talk, opening up to one another, and crying. They see their father watching sports or working. When they fall parents may say,

“Big boys don’t cry”

and with girls, they see its ok, to show what they are feeling, from watching their mothers. When they fall, they are told,

“Its alright darling, your be ok, it’s just a little bump, wipe your tears away.”

Is this none emotional image drilled into them since birth, as it was for their own fathers and their father’s before them.

I have to say, guys raised by mothers alone, seem to be much more open, that is something special.

I have to admit I have met very few man who do show their emotions, but the ones I have, have been a delight. You get to know that person on a deeper level. You really get to know them, not the hard case that many wear.

To me men that show that they have feeling, have a good cry, even to a movie, makes them 100% a real man.

so soften up lads, sure us women what you are really made of.

 

 

 

The mind is its own place and in itself, can make a Heaven of Hell, a Hell of Heaven.

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Sleep has become a thing of the past in the last few weeks, and when I do finally drift off, nightmares wake me.

I’m haunted by my mistakes.
 I wish my brain would just shut off for a short time and let me get just a few hours.
My nights have become long extensions of my day, all blurring into one.
So why is it, my brain just won’t turn off, even in sleep it torments me.
Am I really that bad of a person, that I belong in this living hell.
Me personally, don’t think I am, ok I’m the first to admit I’ve made big mistakes, ones that I’m paying the piece for now and trust me, the weight of the struggle is suffocating. I feel I’m just a shell with no soul, no light and no hope.
How can one fall so hard from the heights of heaven to the burning pits of fire, so quickly.
One minute I was flying, my life complete, happy, so very happy, and then this ……..
Is there any escape from this torture ?
Will I ever find my wings and fly to that happy place again ?
Here’s hoping tomorrow will hold new hope.
Just a twinkle of a bright light.