Sleep has become a thing of the past in the last few weeks, and when I do finally drift off, nightmares wake me.
I’m haunted by my mistakes.
I wish my brain would just shut off for a short time and let me get just a few hours.
My nights have become long extensions of my day, all blurring into one.
So why is it, my brain just won’t turn off, even in sleep it torments me.
Am I really that bad of a person, that I belong in this living hell.
Me personally, don’t think I am, ok I’m the first to admit I’ve made big mistakes, ones that I’m paying the piece for now and trust me, the weight of the struggle is suffocating. I feel I’m just a shell with no soul, no light and no hope.
How can one fall so hard from the heights of heaven to the burning pits of fire, so quickly.
One minute I was flying, my life complete, happy, so very happy, and then this ……..
Is there any escape from this torture ?
Will I ever find my wings and fly to that happy place again ?
Here’s hoping tomorrow will hold new hope.
Just a twinkle of a bright light.