Today has been a hard learning curve, one where I have had to look deep within and admit to myself a few home truths about the people who I thought loved me.
For right now all I can see is that the word love, is the biggest lie ever told.
And I’m not talking about the love I feel, because that burns brightly and does not fade no matter how much I want it to.
As it comes to light, that the last six months plus has been one where I have been blinded by love, I’ve learnt that those who you trust and believe really do love you, be it from your partner, family or friends, that really they didn’t and were playing games the whole time.
And nope for once I’m not talking about Ross (drop down in shock)
Even though at this time I have questions running around my head to if maybe I was blinded there to.
This morning I was sat in court facing a lady who I had the most respect and love for. She over the last few years has been like a mother to me.
She gave me a roof over my head when Marly-Kate was allowed home from hospital and she looked after me when I got sick, she was my support in dark days and I loved her. To me she was the best aunt anyone could ever ask for.
So when I receive a letter telling me she has taken legal action to try to get custody of my daughter I was shocked and hurt beyond belief.
Why would she do that?
I’ve alway known how badly she wanted children of her own but I never thought she would scoop so low, that she would pull this card out the bag in hope to get her hands on my daughter.
Over the last month I have been presented with a great deal of evidence about her quest in keeping Marly-Kate, and to tell the truth I am horrified to learn that it was her, that kept me from bringing my baby girl home.
If only she know what damage she has caused by her actions.
For one, if she hadn’t of plotted and deceived me I would have had Marly-Kate back in the UK a good six plus months ago and maybe just maybe things would have been different.
I would have had my pregnancy care here, I would have gone into labour here and my life wouldn’t be in tatters, my heart broken beyond repair.
I wouldn’t be having to prove that I gave birth to our beautiful baby boy, even through he felt his son kick, watched my body change and felt the contractions. I wouldn’t have to be fighting in the courts to make sure that those who didn’t do their jobs as they should have, never hurt anyone as they have myself and Ross. That no other family live through the heartbreak we have.
I really don’t like to point the finger because I know I have faults and that my secrecy about my job played havoc with trust (not that i had much choice in that) but my god, the damage done by others that I didn’t know about, my heart cries out, how could you, how could you destroy the only happiness I ever had in my life.
How could you lie and cheat your own niece ?
And all the time she played the saint and it’s me that gets called every name under the sun, get judged and torn apart with the cruelest words and actions. When she had the power to let me be happy.
For Marly-Kate to be with the man who loved her and wanted to be her daddy.
How could she stand by and let that all fall apart knowing that she could have changed it at anytime.
I’m devastated at her actions, and I swear over my dead body, she will never get her hands on my daughter.
I hope she can see now that lies always get found out and that her plots and plans will now be her downfall and there is no way on this earth that the courts will allow her to get my daughter, if anything all it will do is land her time in a cell where she will have plenty of time to think about her actions.
I’m just sad that no matter the outcome, the damage is done, she has shown her true colours and I’ve lost everything that ever meant the world to me.
But there is one thing that is for sure she can’t take my memories from me or the love I feel for him and Marly-Kate.