To me ……..

imageI saw this picture today and it made me think, ” What is perfect?”
I admit I’m far from perfect, not even close, I’m short, shy mostly when you first meet me, I talk gently, I do not have the perfect figure and I come across as stuck up until you get to know me and then you will see I’m crude, and have a dirty mind. My sense of humour is different from most and very dry. I laugh like a witch , my hairs always a mess even when I try to get it looking nice. I’m useless with markup and I dress for comfort instead of style. I have a straight down figure with no hips or bum and my top half well not much to say there as I’m sure they vanish more each day.
I judge myself more than I should and don’t believe I’m worthy of being in anyone’s life. I’m just not good enough, but I have a good heart, a listening ear and my heart is always in the right place. I make mistakes as we all do. I’m clumsy to a fault, I drop everything, and I let nerves get the better of me.
See far from perfect.
But am I ?
Maybe just maybe, that is perfect to someone, maybe all my faults, are what someone could adore.

So what makes perfection ?

To me, it’s the smile in the eyes and the lips, it’s caring, it’s everything I once had in my last relationship.
It’s not about looks, even though in my eyes he is gorgeous, perfect in every possible way. Just my cup of tea.
It’s all down to what’s in the heart, which makes a personality.
Even what others would call a fault like stubbornness, I adored that, it showed spirit and passion.
Even the odd jealousy, wasn’t a fault, it showed he cared.
You can only feel those feelings, when you care about something or someone. To me that was a gift, and a beautiful one at that.
Can’t say I found any other faults there at all.
So perfect to me, is everything I once had, even with the so called bad bits, the good out weighed them, the love was strong enough to learn to accept and start to adore those parts of his personality.
I’m stubborn to a tee and jealous also, so who am I to ever judge or dis anyone’s faults I hold in myself.
It’s part of us, and if you love someone, you should love them faults and all.
A spot could be classed as a fault, but would that make you turn your back on them?
If the answer is yes, look deeper into that person’s soul and that spot will not matter any more.
See the good, everything you like about that person, your then see that what you once thought wasn’t perfection is getting very close.
Even a laugh, can add to someone being so perfect, you know that no one can ever get close.
God I loved Ross’s laugh, I can still hear it as clear as a bell and it makes me smile, just thinking about it.
I loved the way he also had so much knowledge, how he loved to learn, and helped me when I just couldn’t master that information. I loved the way he would touch my hand or leg to check I was ok, if I was struggling with a situation, I loved the way he would play with his hair, the way he lit up a room when he entered, the way he would walk around with his hood up, I find that adorable in him.
The way he walked, I love his walk. But most of all I think I loved the passion he had for programming. All round passion really, for the things he believed in but what topped that was heart, so caring, sensitive when needed, to me he is perfection a million times over.
I just hope that one day maybe I will be worthy of being perfection, that he will see that my good bits are worth more than the bad.
Here’s hoping.

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