Well shit I didn’t want to blog or spill out my feelings, guess I’m failing badly at life and trying not to love.
God I hate myself, I hate that you have this power over me, that I would give you my whole life and nothing less.
I hate that you have the power to break me without even knowing it.
And Jesus I wish I could hate you as much as I hate myself and you hate me.
I hate that I would give you my life, that I’ve given you my heart and I would do anything to have you want to mend it.
It’s so badly broken, I’m surprised I can even feel the pain that tortures every second of every day.
They say all is fair in love and war, but trust me war seems to me to be a walk in the park.
Because nothing can be as painful as this.
Why can’t you just push me against a wall and smash the life nearly out of me, that would be less painful.
I can’t take anymore pain, I just want your arms around me, holding me, waking me up from this nightmare
I really can’t take anymore pain.
Please baby please help me please