03 | October | 2013 | Ice Maiden Diaries

what a week it has been so far.
Firstly work, is still a nightmare, even walking to work yesterday was a bitch, maybe it will teach me to look where I’m going and get out my little bubble.
Walking along I slip on something, nearly falling on my arse, I turn to see what sent me flying and why I was getting laughed at, yuk there on the floor was a puddle on sick, now half of it was all over my shoes. Kinda funny now I look back and thank god I didn’t land in it.
So I carry on walking, still in my own little bubble, trying to get my head together before I walk into a day full of back stabbing. I look to cross the road next thing I know I have to jump out the way as a car flys towards me. OMG all this and it’s only 7.50 in the morning.
Trust my luck.
Day didn’t get much better until I meet my mum for coffee. Was great catching up with her.
So this week, one of my all time favourite people got sent to ashes, and tomorrow they set him free, so so sad but I’m trying to see it as he is free now and out of pain. Hopefully floating on some cloud laughing at me as I slide in sick.
It’s also been a week of doctors and hospital, firstly I’m called and asked to come into see the doctor. Not told why, that’s kinda a head screw, when I get there, they want blood tests, try to get me to stop smoking and try to push happy pills down my neck. They are told to jog on, it both respects and I leave feeling a little bit fed up at wasting my time.
Hospital today, well that was a huge headache, and once again, they talk a talk I don’t understand, all I really understood was the fact that I will be sliced and diced. Hmmmm really is that called for, don’t see the point. I really don’t.
Use your funds on someone worthy and who has a happy life in front of them.
It’s one battle that at this time I have no interest in fighting.
I guess it’s all comes at the wrong time in my life, a year ago, I know I would have done anything to fight this one, now though, I just don’t have a reason to.
So my week has been shit and tomorrow will be really hard.
And you know what, all I want is his hand in mine telling me that I’m not alone and he’s there supporting me.
I can dream can’t I.
So my middle finger goes up to this week but the truth of the matter is, I don’t want it to end yet as it will be the weekend and those are hard, so so hard.

Anything worth having, is worth fighting for
Why do people fight?

All relationships have fights. It would be a problem if one didn’t, ‘because that would mean that the people in it don’t care for each other. What’s important is that you should learn to adjust and deal with the cause of conflict.

Each one of us insists that what we think is correct, and usually don’t even consider other people’s point of views. People are born to think that they are right in whatever they choose to say or do. This is known as “pride.” Naturally, pride takes over and prevents us from admitting that we’re wrong, even if we realise that we really are. Ego and pride are two things which can be very damaging to the other person.

Just to prove that we’re right, we end up hurting someone else. So before letting your ego talk, stop and think if it’s really worth fighting for. Yeah, it’s important to put across what you think, but it’s not important to impose that on someone.
If you want to fight, fight fair. Admit it when you’re wrong, but don’t put down the other person if they’re wrong.

What matters most is, the making up part. A fight is a fight when it ends. If it goes on, it just becomes a grudge.
Fighting with someone shows that you care enough to notice that they screwed up and care enough to mention it. Making up after a fight means you focus more on working out things with the person.

Giving someone a chance to correct their mistake is loving someone enough despite knowing the differences, so the way I see it is, follow your heart not you head. Anyone can infect your brain, with their own ideas of what is wrong and right, this is when your heart, screams at you.
I constantly am at battle with my head and heart. Somehow though my heart screams louder than my head.
And even when I’m determined not to listen, my heart always wins, I guess that’s why Im still here blogging, why I’m still fighting my own battle and still fighting for what I believe in the most, LOVE.
It’s worth fighting for, no matter how painful it is.
I guess one day I may just get sick of it and just turn and walk away, give up fighting, trust me, there are many days, I’ve been so close, but a battle deep inside my soul, won’t let me.
I guess something somewhere is crying out to me not to give up.