Maybe I’m just a little blonde when it comes to relationships.
I guess that’s because I have never had to work at one until my last one at least.
Never really bothered me up until that one what happened. I guess that’s because I didn’t really care for them. Ross was different. I loved him and still do, always have from the moment we started talking.
And although it was easy, perfect when we were together, now omg it’s the hardest breakup I have ever had.
I was told by a dear friend of mine yesterday that I have given him the power to break me.
He has the cards in his hands and I’ve put my self on the line to be destroyed. ( it’s doing that for sure)
To me though he’s all that important and I have to try at least.
But there are only so many times he can kick me when I’m down. Today being one of them.
All I wanted was an hour of his time, to show him something, I guess now he will never know what it is.
I’m getting very close to breaking point, this hurts too much.
Maybe my friend is right I should just not bother in trying to show him the facts, showing him I still love him no matter what has happened.
Maybe I should just pack my bags and go as far away from the UK as I can get.
Nothing left here anyway.
Right now I feel like dropping all court cases and running for the hills.
People can vanish can’t they.
That way I will be taking the power back.
Thing is though will that stop me loving him.
Will it stop the heartache, and hurt he tortures me with.
Really is it that hard to see me for an hour, didn’t we mean anything, that he can find it deep within his heart, just to spare me more pain and just see me.
I guess I now need to work out what I need to do.
Do I run or do I fight for the one thing in life, that I believe is worth fighting for.