Do you know what the scariest thing is right now?

Rejection on two different levels.

Firstly, I have court dates and I have to find the guts from somewhere to contact Ross and tell him.
Fear runs through me at the thought of him turning around and saying
“And, I don’t care”
or
“I’m not coming”

Second fear, is that soon the case will be over and I’m scared to death that in his eyes it won’t make a blind bit of difference :,-(

That he will get the answers and the proof he wants and that even with that he will turn around and walk away.

It scares me to death.
The thought of it brings me to my knees and I cry uncontrollably.

All I want is to be able to talk to him, is it really so hard?