Dear Zack

imageDear Zack.
It’s your daddy’s birthday tomorrow, going to be a sad day.
Never felt so far away from him as I do right now and I guess I best get use to that feeling.
He has shown more often than not that he doesn’t give a damn about me or you, or your memory, no one will know how hard that is, how much that hurts.
but always know that I will never forget you or stop loving you.

How could the guy I gave my life to, change so much, change beyond recognition.
I truly believe he had the best heart, was the nicest and most wonderful man I have ever met, and deep down I still believe that, but right now he shows no sign of holding any of those 😦

And it hurts to think he only contacted me because your nanny, more than likely told him to thank me for his birthday present.
I know it’s not the fact he wanted to. :,-(

I guess I’m writing to you because your part of him, us and I don’t want to talk about the negative feelings I have right now with anyone as I hate myself for having them.
I’m guessing it will pass, but only time will tell.

I know deep down I’m just hurt that he didn’t ask about your case and that’s made me hurt more than normal.
Well time is running out, and I guess it is now down to him to ask me, because the coldness, unfriendliness has got to me more than ever.
Yes I still love him, want to be with him and I miss my best friend so much, it hurts to breath without him.
I’m hurting baby boy, I’m hurting so much.

I love you my sleeping baby bean angel.
Sleep peaceful.
Kisses from mummy and your big sis.


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