As you get older, what you look like on the outside becomes less and less of an issue, and who you are on the inside becomes the primary point of interest. You eventually realize that beauty has almost nothing to do with looks, it’s who you are as a person, how you make others feel about themselves, and most importantly, how you feel about yourself.
Can you really look at yourself and be proud or like who you are and how you treat people. Can you live with yourself ?
Mistakes in life are made all the time, but it’s how you handle those mistakes what matters.
As I said before I have made plenty, but I have done my up most to try to make them better.
And at times most of the time I find it hard to live with those, but I have tried to make a mends and in doing so have been blanked and beating my head against a brick wall.
That more than hurts you know, it destroys part of you.
But I’ve tried, I’ve tried to make things better, to make things right.
I guess it will never be good enough, no matter what I do.
At least I had the good will or heart to try.
And yes it still hurts to see the response I get.
Most of the time no response at all.
So is it all in vain ?
I’m thinking yes it is.
I’m thinking maybe I was in the wrong, that maybe just maybe, love just isn’t what I thought it was, that my feeling have always been the real deal but maybe just maybe that was never felt the other way round.
Right now though I can live with myself, because I have done every thing I can to put things right, I’ve shown openly, too openly maybe, how I feel, only to be met with the hardest hurt I’ve ever felt.
I’ve lost myself as a person, due to heartbreak.
And to be honest, I don’t like how sad I have become, how everyday is a struggle.
I like the happy me, the me I was a year ago.
Maybe I will never find that me again, but I will learn to be strong and pull my socks up.
I’ve already learnt, that words can make you feel on top of the word, but my god, they can also destroy and silence is the biggest killer.