Message to heaven

Couldn’t let today go by without listening to our song, so many memories, so many good times, bad and sad ones to, but you know chicken that even though everything has changed and life is now harder than ever, I still chat away to you , Zack and Jane and I hope your all happy and you remember us down here.
You know you are right up there on the list of the most fantastic people I have had in my life and I miss you and my sis, but I think you two are causing trouble together and that makes the pain of your passing a little easier. And I want to say sorry for letting you go without flying out. But I stood by your wishes, but living with that is hard. I know you wanted to do things your way and that’s why we all stayed away when we wanted to be there. Truth is though, goodbyes hurt no matter how or when, and I know you didn’t want tears, but there had been plenty from us all and you have left one beautiful lady behind who I believe her hearts bleeds for you.
But in doing so has made me see that giving up on love just can’t be done, time or life is too short.
Thank you for teaching me that, thank you for giving me many years of friendship.


Happy birthday Ross

imageSo it’s your birthday and last year we woke up in each other’s arms, had the most perfect day, one only dreams are made from.
Every day was a dream when I was with you.
You know you won my heart from day one and there isn’t a moment that goes by that I ever stop loving you.
I only seem to fall more and more in love.
I guess that old saying “the heart grows fonder” is true and although I know it doesn’t stand true for you. I can’t help the way I feel.
Even through the pain and the little bit of bitterness I have felt of late, I can’t help loving you.
I wish you know how you have effected my life.
You gave me more love and happiness than I have ever felt but also caused me more pain, heartache and tears than anyone else has.
But you know what, that pain is nothing compared to the strength of the love I have for you and although I hate myself for loving you so deeply, for letting you knock down my walls and giving you my heart, I know your worth all the pain and my love for you is the strongest feeling I have ever had and yes I know it’s a wasted feeling because I’m not sure if you ever loved me :,-(
I don’t want to start believing you didn’t because I know you did and no amount of pain can take away those years we spent loving each other.
The year we spent lost in each others arms was the most amazing year and I want to thank you for that.
I want to thank you for showing me love is real and even though it is destroying me more each day, I know that I wouldn’t change my feelings for you, or the time we spent together.
Every moment we spent together touched our lives, our souls.
The things that we shared can never be taken away.
And what we discovered in each others eyes was so magical, it will never be matched, because the love I have is only for you. No one will ever come close to you.
No matter what the future will show we have touched our lives forever!
We were connected on such a deep levels that no one can remove that.
Your feelings are different now, I know that but you are part of me forever, your imbedded in my heart and a part of you will always be me.
No matter what happens, I’m certain our souls are one until life closes the curtain.
I will love your forever for worse or for better.
I will never forget you or stop loving you Ross.
I love you Ross.
Have a wonderful birthday.