Why I do, what I do !

imageI want to try to explain why I spill my heart out to these blank pages of my wonderful site.
I want to try to explain why I make you videos and take pics for you.
Yes it’s for you.

I do what I do because I love you and it’s just a way for me to try to show you and I live in hope that you may once in a while pop on here and read it, or come across the videos on you tube.
I can only live in hope that one day you will see, listen or read.
I guess I will never know if you do.

So I’ve written you kinda poems, which I’ve then badly read out and put my voice on-line, I’ve posted photos of myself, and my life, and let my friends stick their phones in my face, all because I’m trying so hard to change many years of habit and although I hate photos of myself and feel uncomfortable in having photos taken, I’ve done it for you, because I know it drove you a little crazy that I didn’t.
I know it’s too late, but I want you to see I’m willing to open up to you, I guess in a small way it’s also a little to prove to you things, like the farm.
As for posting my voice in videos, now that was hard for me to do, but I wanted it to be personal, I wanted more than words , more than a photo I had taken for you, more than a sound track to the poem.
I wanted you to hear my voice and hopefully hear the meaning behind the words (poem)

As for your poem you wrote me, which I love, I had that made into a song for you as a gift to say thank you for being the perfect partner, for loving me how you did and although it came to late in the day, it still means those things and so much more now.
It means something so much deeper that I can’t put into words.
And when they asked if they could use it for their album all I wanted was call you and say how proud of you I am and how excited I was and I hoped to hear a little excitement from you to.
I want you to know I’m more than proud of your masterpiece and I love it, I truly do.

As for your song of the day, I don’t just post anything, with every song I put great thought into them and they all mean something, hopefully if you listen you will pick up the meaning as you know me more than I know myself most days and if not then the little write-up I do has clues to what those meanings are.

So I do these things because you are the most incredible guy and my heart belongs to you and I want you to know that I still love you and I want you to feel loved and special as you are special, more than, your incredible in my eyes.

As for my blog posts, they are more than blogs, they are my heart written on pages for hopefully you to read.
So you know how you have touched my life.
How you changed me and how much I miss you and most importantly how much I love you.
I’m writing my life down for the world to see, something I never thought I would do, as I’ve always been very private.
I will admit though I blog for me also, it’s a way of me coping, and not cutting which I’m kinda proud I haven’t done for a long long time and I thank you for that, I made a promise to you which I stand by and will do my up most not to let you down, I don’t want to break that promise to you.

So Ross, I hope that explains a little of why I do what I do.
But to put it short.
I do what I do, because I love you.


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