Mind that specks

imageClouds are dancing in the sky and the wet ground watering the earth.
You can hear the air whispering and the trees are dancing in the wind again.
Use your imagination to live your days and use your senses to try all the tastes of the world.
Wisdom is to the soul what health is to the body. Both needed. Both part of yourself. You need to fight for both of them.
Your dreams do not have an expiration date.
Take a deep breath and try again. Life’s without dreams are empty.
The problem with many of us is that we think we’ll be happy when we reach a certain level in life, a level we see others operating at, your boss with her corner office, that friend of a friend who owns a
mansion on the beach, etc.
Unfortunately, it takes awhile before you get there, and when you get there you’ll likely have a new destination in mind. You’ll end up spending your whole life working toward something new without ever stopping to enjoy the things you have had.
So take a quiet moment every morning when you first awake to appreciate where you are and what you already have or had, relive your memories in your mind everyday and find peace in those.
One of the great secrets to happiness is to pay more attention to the beginnings than the endings.

So many people say they want a new life, but then they take the new one they get every morning for granted. Don’t do this. Don’t wait until your life is almost over to realise how great it has been.
Make a home for yourself inside your own heart. You’ll find what you need to furnish it, memory, your soul mate, friends, love of learning, and other such things. That way it will go with you wherever you journey and lastly what people need is not a mind that speaks but a special heart that listens.


He who does not understand your silence will probably not understand your words.

imageI have learnt in the last week or so that silence only eats away at you.
My words, my thoughts, my feelings, can not fill these pages.
But no matter how hard I try to not speck the thoughts, the feelings from my heart and soul, I have learnt, that even with glued lips, it doesn’t change what I feel, it only eats away at me.
It hurts more each day, and while the anger I felt just a few weeks ago seem like many moons ago. I’m trying hard to keep my feelings to myself.
All the while, it is slowly eating away at me.
As I look at myself I wonder……
Who is this person, so beaten, broken, and miserable? I’ve become completely unrecognizable to myself.

I know I’m in there somewhere and maybe in time I will find a part of me, but I won’t be whole again.
Part of me is missing and I know what that part is.

No amount of silence can change that.
No amount can change what my heart feels everyday.

What does it mean to love someone unconditionally ?
It means, that even if that person says something, or does something you don’t agree with, you have enough foundation to love them despite the things about them you don’t agree with.

There are a lot of people in my own life that don’t share the same viewpoints as me. I’m very passionate about what I believe in, so when someone questions it, I get, well, extra passionate. This is where unconditional love comes into play.

Unconditional love doesn’t care that you disagree. It doesn’t care that you see things differently than the one you gave your heart to. It doesn’t care what you look like first thing in the morning, or how funky your morning breath is, how bad your bed hair looks, It doesn’t care how smart you are or how much you know about life. It doesn’t care how old you are.

It will test you. It will try to make you question it, but in the end, it matters more than politics, more than disagreements, more than angry retorts.

If you are lucky enough to have this in your life, either by someone who loves you, or by your love for another. Than nothing can penetrate that.

As I have always stated, love is what makes the world go round, it’s worth the heartache.
It’s worth everything.
Once you find the real deal, nothing on earth can replace it or change it.
Silence can not stop those feelings.

All I know is ……..
Silence is so freaking loud

For if dreams die

imageLife isn’t about a single moment of great triumph and attainment. It’s about the trials and errors that get you there. the blood, sweat, and tears.. the small, inconsequential things you do every day. It all matters in the end .. every step, every regret, every decision, and every affliction. All of this has strengthened you. All of this has led you to every success you’ve ever had. All of this has made you who you are today.
No matter how many times you break down, there should always be a little voice inside you that says, “NO, you’re not done yet! Get back up!” Listen to this voice. What you need to realize is, life is a journey, often difficult and sometimes incredibly cruel, but you are well equipped for it as long as you tap into your inner strength in the present, and allow it to flourish forward.

My dad emailed me this, this morning, a beautiful piece of writing/poem that touches me deeply.
I hope you can find a little help from this also.

Hold fast to dreams
For if dreams die
Life is a broken-winged bird
That cannot fly.

Hold fast to dreams
For if dreams go
Life is a barren field
Frozen with snow.

Kindness is …………

imageKindness is the only investment that never fails. And wherever there is a human being, there’s an opportunity for kindness. Learn to give, even if it’s just a smile, not because you have too much, but because you understand there are so many others who feel like they have nothing at all.

This last 6 months have been really challenging for me.
I won’t get into the details, you can read back if you want to know more.
But in that moment, when that bit of sun cut through the gloom and scattered into a rainbow, I was reminded me that there is alway hope and kindness around.
Really, it seemed trivial at times but, a kind word honestly spoken, a smile, or a listening ear, helped me smile on a day when I felt like I didn’t have the right to smile.

Isn’t it funny how those oppressive, gray days have a way of amplifying the little bits of sunshine that flit into and out of your life?

Small acts of kindness are often underestimated. After all, would anyone really care if you remember to make eye contact, say ‘thank you’ and smile?
But like that bit of sun, those acts have a far greater reach than anyone can truly measure.

I believe that receiving kindness makes us feel good, but giving kindness can make us deliriously happy.
Being happy is a pretty worthy goal right?

Let’s all try to make ourselves a little bit happier today.
I know there is someone in your life that you could help.
A note, a phone call, a little gift, a smile. Anything.
Do it and hopefully you will feel a little bit happier, too.
And if today doesn’t go the way you’d planned, tomorrow is a new day and I, too, believe in miracles.
Keep trying.

This is not only my advise to you all but to myself, I have to remind myself to smile everyday.
As for kindness, I try my best, but lately I have been stopped in my tracks and I have pulled back in trying to be kind and show I care.
I will explain this later in a blog I am half way through writing.
“How do humans come to switch off their natural feelings of sympathy for another human being who is suffering?”

A subject very close to home, one I have become aware of over the last few months.
If only a little kindness would come into play, the world and the people in it would be a brighter place.

I will leave you with this……..

Kindness is a language the deaf can hear and the blind can see.

Without you :,-(

imageI just spent your first Christmas without you.
Every moment of every hour was spent thinking how things should have been.
How I’m sure you would have been smiling and laughing, showing more interest in the boxes than the pressies that Santa would have left you.
It broke my heart for you not to be with me and Marly.
It was a hard hard day and you were never out of my thoughts.
I love you so much my sleeping angel.
I wish you were here, as I wish many other things.

No matter the silience I have to carry out and the words I can not let pass my lips, thoughts and feelings do not change.
No amount of silience can change that.

Running like water

imageTime is running like water.
Soon the new month and the new year will be here with new chances…new steps..new experiences. A new era will begin.
We all spend our entire lives trying to live in another time and place. We lament about what has been, what we could have done, or what might become. However, the past is gone, even if we will it not to be and the future doesn’t exist.

No matter how much time we spend thinking and lamenting about either, it doesn’t change anything.
We need to live more in the moment. Living in the moment requires active, open, intentional awareness on the present.
Don’t fantasize about being on vacation while at work, and don’t worry about the work piling up on your desk when you’re on vacation. Live for now. Notice the beauty unfolding around you.
Life is beautiful no matter how hard your situation is, how broken you may feel.
Just look around you and see the morning frost, the sun rising, the shimmer of light through the trees.
The morning chilled air in your lungs.
The smile on the faces of the people around you.
Each and everything thing is beautiful in its own way.
Look deeper and see the good and the beauty.


imageOnce the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about.

Your Prison

imageThe biggest prison you will likely ever live in is your fear of what other people think. You cannot let other people tell you who you are or what you want. You have to decide that for yourself. When you’re making big decisions, remember, what you think of yourself and your life is more important than what people think of you. Don’t let others make you feel guilty for living your life. It’s YOUR life. As long as you’re not hurting anyone else, live it YOUR way.

Merry Christmas x

imageI just wanted to wish you all a Merry Christmas.
I hope you spent/spend it with the people you love and made lots of memories.

Memories are so important to make, one day they will be all we have left.
Make great ones guys.
Happy Christmas xxx

Christmas wish.

One of the secrets of life is to make stepping stones out of stumbling blocks.
And as Christmas heads towards us all at top speed, that’s what I’m doing.
Brave face in place, a smile to, if you look carefully you may see if it is real or fake.

So today is Christmas Eve and the what if’s are running rings.
And Christmas pasts are on my mind, the people I can’t be with, the loved ones, friends and family that are not here with us, or the distance is too great to be with.

Christmas was once a happy time, now it just reminds me of the people no longer in my life, but I’m trying to make it as special as I can for Marly-Kate.
I have to at least try for her
After all these are her memories and I’m all she has.

So tomorrow as Mk and I sit down together and eat what ever I throw together, we will raise a glass to the lost and loved ones who we no longer have in our life’s and we will wish you a merry Christmas and hopefully our wishes will travel in the breeze and they will know they are in our hearts and thoughts