Ross I’m sorry but I have to tell you that I love you with everything I am.
With every inch of my being.
You have been my world from that very first message, and you will be until I draw my last breath.
My soul and yours are joined in a connection I have no words to explain.
I was talking to Tell yesterday, trying my hardest to somehow explain what it was like together, how our bodies melted into each other. How we would finish each other’s sentences, how your smile would give me butterflies. How love was so plain to see. How we both believed that love was all we needed.
How do I explain to anyone how perfect we were together.
How we are made for one another.
That ours souls are one. You’re the missing piece of the puzzle of life and that I swear love only exists because of us.
I can’t explain how beautifully fantastic we were together.
She turned to me and said
” your eyes say it all”
I know she is right.
I know what we felt was the real deal and that we are soul mates. We are made for each other, we belong together.
I love you Ross.
Forever and always.
So I’m right in the dog house.
Mum came and met me at work this morning and we went for a juicy fry up, not had one of those since I shared one with Ross at the cafe at the station at Bognor, funny how the memories come flooding back and in turn make it hard to swallow my food.
I find it hard doing anything we did together.
Anyway, mum is having real trouble hearing, I had to shout to get myself heard.
Would think much of it but after her op it’s a little worrying as one of the main side effects is loosing your hearing.
Mum looked really poorly and I’m worried about her.
I go back to work, mum and mk go back to mine for the day while I work.
It played on my mind all morning, and decide to call mums doctor.
Well I get a call back, I explain that mum doesn’t know I’m calling and that I’m worried.
She agrees with me and asks me to get her to make an appointment ASAP.
Shit what do I do now, I went behind her back and called, now I have to tell her what I have done and I already know she will me upset or angry.
So I call her and spill the beans, I’m now in the dog house big time.
She is really cross.
I was just trying to help mum, I wasn’t doing it to upset you, I called because I care about you.
And I know you do the same when I’m having a bad day.
I’m sorry I butted in, but I only did, because it’s important.
I feel really bad now, but I’m not sorry in away because your stubborn and don’t seem to care about your own health.
Well I do and that’s why I went behind your back.
I am though sorry I upset you.
To top my day off, Ross has been on my mind more than normal, no reason why, I guess I just miss him and he seems to be deeper and deeper in my head everyday.
Why is love so hard?
Why does it hurt so much?
Truth is, I love him so much and I don’t think he will ever get out of my head or heart.
I seem to miss him more everyday.