Christmas wish.

One of the secrets of life is to make stepping stones out of stumbling blocks.
And as Christmas heads towards us all at top speed, that’s what I’m doing.
Brave face in place, a smile to, if you look carefully you may see if it is real or fake.

So today is Christmas Eve and the what if’s are running rings.
And Christmas pasts are on my mind, the people I can’t be with, the loved ones, friends and family that are not here with us, or the distance is too great to be with.

Christmas was once a happy time, now it just reminds me of the people no longer in my life, but I’m trying to make it as special as I can for Marly-Kate.
I have to at least try for her
After all these are her memories and I’m all she has.

So tomorrow as Mk and I sit down together and eat what ever I throw together, we will raise a glass to the lost and loved ones who we no longer have in our life’s and we will wish you a merry Christmas and hopefully our wishes will travel in the breeze and they will know they are in our hearts and thoughts


I will not cry :.-(

imageMy darlin baby boy, I hope you are sleeping peacefully in heaven and that you are watching us as we cry for you.

Your grandad sent me something today which I have to share with you.
It touched me so deeply and brought the tears, I have been fighting so hard not to give into.
I guess it’s ok to have the odd weak day, let the tears wash the soul.

Tomorrow-not today You will see the light in your darkness.
And you will learn to touch your precious child in your soul.
You will meet him spiritually and the emptiness will be somewhat filled.
It will become easier to speak than to cry.
And the heaviness will be lifted from your heart.
Your arms will no longer ache to hold him near.
And you will touch his spirit with your heart.
And he will kiss you in your dreams.
And the pain will slowly ease – but never go away You will find joy again and laughter will come. You will once again feel the wholeness of your life but never to soon- And only with the passing of time.