I have learnt in the last week or so that silence only eats away at you.
My words, my thoughts, my feelings, can not fill these pages.
But no matter how hard I try to not speck the thoughts, the feelings from my heart and soul, I have learnt, that even with glued lips, it doesn’t change what I feel, it only eats away at me.
It hurts more each day, and while the anger I felt just a few weeks ago seem like many moons ago. I’m trying hard to keep my feelings to myself.
All the while, it is slowly eating away at me.
As I look at myself I wonder……
Who is this person, so beaten, broken, and miserable? I’ve become completely unrecognizable to myself.
I know I’m in there somewhere and maybe in time I will find a part of me, but I won’t be whole again.
Part of me is missing and I know what that part is.
No amount of silence can change that.
No amount can change what my heart feels everyday.
What does it mean to love someone unconditionally ?
It means, that even if that person says something, or does something you don’t agree with, you have enough foundation to love them despite the things about them you don’t agree with.
There are a lot of people in my own life that don’t share the same viewpoints as me. I’m very passionate about what I believe in, so when someone questions it, I get, well, extra passionate. This is where unconditional love comes into play.
Unconditional love doesn’t care that you disagree. It doesn’t care that you see things differently than the one you gave your heart to. It doesn’t care what you look like first thing in the morning, or how funky your morning breath is, how bad your bed hair looks, It doesn’t care how smart you are or how much you know about life. It doesn’t care how old you are.
It will test you. It will try to make you question it, but in the end, it matters more than politics, more than disagreements, more than angry retorts.
If you are lucky enough to have this in your life, either by someone who loves you, or by your love for another. Than nothing can penetrate that.
As I have always stated, love is what makes the world go round, it’s worth the heartache.
It’s worth everything.
Once you find the real deal, nothing on earth can replace it or change it.
Silence can not stop those feelings.
All I know is ……..
Silence is so freaking loud