People keeping asking me why I don’t open up to anyone anymore or even on here.
The truth is, once you start to love or like someone as a friend, eg find a friend who you feel you can trust and always want in your life, they either move, die or betray you or force you to be silent.
Truth of the matter is, no matter how I feel, I am forbidden to write those feelings down, I’m told not to feel them but you know what, it doesn’t stop me feeling them, wanting or needed what I do, all it does is eat away at the little remaining of my beating heart and destroys my soul.
It turn breaking me more than I have ever been broken, still it does not stop me loving, all it does is build the walls higher than ever before.
Brick by brick it crushes my heart and soul but never stops me loving him.

Sometimes there are things in our life that we never want to change.
Sometimes change may not be what we want. Sometimes change is what we really don’t need.
And sometimes saying goodbye is the hardest thing you think you’ll ever have to do,
but sometimes it’s saying “good-bye” that breaks you down and makes you the most vulnerable person you’ll ever know.
Sometimes change is too much to bear, and destroys your life.
Sometimes that change is what slowly kills your heart and soul.
Sometimes all you want to do is change things back.
For changing things back will give you that hug that will mend all those broken piece even if it’s the one that can mend you, is the one who broke you.
Still all you want is them to fix you.
Sometimes the heart can be a strange thing that you will never understand.