To love without condition……..

imageTo love without condition, To talk without intention, To give without reason, And to care without expectation… this is the heart of a true friend.

So what does friendship mean to us?
To me it means being there no matter how bad the situation, standing by your friend no matter if you agree or not.
It’s trusting them not just with your biggest darkest secret but your life.
It’s loving them for who they are, faults and all.

It’s standing by them, no matter if others do not like it, it’s caring enough to say f*** you to the rest of the world to honour your friendship.

To me it’s not about being friends with someone just to be nosey, it’s caring about them, so you want to listen and let them cry on you, just because you don’t want them to be alone in their dark days.
It’s caring, I mean really caring.

So how many of us can really say they have true friendship?

I had it once from two different people or did I ?

I sure did with Porter, he was the most incredible friend and he truly cared. Maybe too much at times but I knew and still know he would have moved mountains for me, not just me, but any of his other friends or anyone else that needed help or friendship.

I miss him incredibly, I guess you don’t know how someone effects your life until they are no longer there.
Everyday I wish that death hadn’t come to him.
Not just for me, but for the girl I know he was secretly falling in love with.
Yes those words were one of the last he said to me.
He said he had found his queen and he left it too late, that he was leaving this world with love in his heart.
As his friend, I couldn’t let it end like that, I had to tell her how he felt, but maybe not in those words so I hope if you read this you know that he was falling in love with you from afar.

So the friendship I had, which I still swear was the most powerful I have ever had. This friendship took over my life and heart.
It wasn’t until this morning I was made to question it just a little.

To put it short and blunt, I was told that “How could he be all you say he is, when he didn’t believe you about many things eg your mum having a tumour removed from her brain along with many other things”

That kinda hit me with a ton of bricks.
But me being me and my heart fighting for what it believes in, stuck up for him and gave her a really hard time for being a nasty piece of work.

I’m so stupid why did I do that, I know if the shoe was on the other foot, he wouldn’t.

But it made me think about real friendship and you know what, I can only count a very few friends that I can call true ones, but hey a few is better than hundreds of back stabbing bitches who really don’t give a damn but just like to put their two cents in.

I have learnt so much over the last few months about friendship and family, most of it, is enough to build the walls up so high, that they will never get back in.
I guess I have done that with many, due to the fact of them being totally assholes the last few years.
But I believed that I also made a good few new ones in the last year or so, two I thought were for life. One I know I have lost for ever, the other I just don’t get, and it upsets me to say that I’m not 100% sure what is going on there.hoping it is one that even though we haven’t talked in a while, if we do, it will be like we saw each other yesterday, if you know what I mean.
I hope that it’s a true one because I know I would walk over rough seas for that friendship.

For me friendship is like family and once I give myself to a friendship a real true one, one that means more than family, I give my friendship for life.

I just wish others would.

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