Two posts in one day, I haven’t done that for a while.
Thought that while I have a smile on my face, I may as well write a kinda happy blog. ( don’t drop dead with shock)

Well today I battled against the medicated state and the pain and took a little trip to see one of the most loveliest people I have ever had the pleasure of having in my life.
Had a really nice day, the sun was shining, the best company I could ask for. I for once had a real smile on my face.
I’m so grateful for days like today and her company. It’s just sad leaving.

Anyway my little trip made me see, that no matter how I build the walls around me, keep out of anyone’s way that reminds me of anything to do with my past. I discovered that, I’m a totally idiot to even try, because who ever I care about, in friendship or love, no amount of walls, silence or running away, can ever take that away from me.
I still care about my friends, family and the one I love.
Closing the door on any of them won’t change that.
It only changes me into this person I see in the mirror who I just don’t know anymore.
Truth of the matter is.
The heart doesn’t stop, because you want it to or you feel it should.
The heart is yours, it beats your blood around your body, it’s your ruler.
It’s you.
Listen to it and see what is important.
No ones points of view, or head games matter.
Your heart does.