50 shades of nothing.

imageI know in my head what I want to write, but putting it down here is proving to be hard.
When it comes to seeing the world, points of view or even your own thoughts.
Many of us see things black or white with no other shade in between.
And others open up their minds and see many different levels of colour.
To me there may have been in the past just black or white, I guess this is due to my stubbornness and my will to be right.
As I grow as a person and maybe with age to, I can see that not everything has to have a set colour, that if you open your heart and mind and even your ears and listen to the world around you, there is more than just black or even white. There are so many shades, each showing you something that you have closed your eyes to, or even your heart.

So now when my mind tells me one thing, I question that, and try to see different ways of viewing the situation.
Trust me at times it is hard, when your stubborn head is shouting loudly at you to believe what it wants you to believe.
It’s telling you there is not need for the benefit of dealt.
When really there is, if only you could just sit and listen, allow yourself to feel outside of what your head is screaming at you.

I guess maybe it goes the same for the head over heart.
The head being black and the heart being white.
One fight we all live every day of our time on this earth.

I for sure have a battle every day with mine, my heart always wins. I wish it didn’t sometimes.
I can see the different shades to, sadly though my heart seems to pull me away from any line of thought.
It screams at me every second of everyday.
And the days that I fight back and try to get over him, my heart will just not allow me to, this has to be the hardest fight of my life.
One that I wish I didn’t have to fight, and the shades repeat over and over that if people only saw the shades then maybe just maybe things would be different.

And maybe they would have been, but I will never know but I do wish that he could have seen the shades. That he could see the white shining brightly instead of the darkness that the black suffocates us in.
I wish he could have let his heart win.