Gratitude is wonderfully intriguing. I recently watched a documentary explaining how it is one of a handful of things that manages to bring people joy in this world.
In this video, they did an experiment by having several participants give a name for whomever they were most grateful to in their lives, and then write down the reasons.
To the participant’s surprise, the next step was to actually call that person and tell them everything they’d just written. Interestingly enough, once they followed through, each participant was brought to joyous tears during their confessions. It’s funny when you think about the fact that most of us haven’t even thought of doing this, and yet we’re all looking for this type of substantial joy. Many say that happiness always finds a way to elude them, when in reality it’s usually the other way around.
I sure wish I could do this with two people.
Maybe I will someday one of them at least.
The other we I think he already knows and more than likely would have the phone slammed down on me but I would like to think that he may listen to what I have to say.
The other though I may not call but say it face to face to her.
She’s an incredibly strong lady with the biggest heart which I’m sure she battles with for reasons that she won’t say but I understand without hearing the words
Shame she has to feel like this, when if I’m honest she shouldn’t have to be.
Maybe she is right and things will change or maybe in the next life where I believe I will meet her again things will be the beautiful perfect picture they should have been in this lifetime.
Only time and death can answer that now.
But I’m sure she knows how I feel and so does Ross.
My battle is do I leave it and I know that one day I will have the power taken away from me that I can’t speak the words I wish or do I put myself at the knife’s blade knowing that I will be hurt more than ever in spec king the words I feel before it’s too late.
And I’m silenced until I’m reborn into my next life.
I can only hope it holds more happiness than this one has ever given me.
One perfect year of pure happiness somehow is worth the 30 years of numbness.
That one year was worth everything.
Because he was my everything, he was my life, my heart and soul.
He still is.