imageApparently it’s normal to feel this way and I will do for a while.
Apparently I’ll wake up one day and would have snapped out of it.

To me, this is not normal.
Snap out of it, no way that can happen, I’m scarred beyond belief that I will never get over him, that I will always be lost.
That I will never feel whole again.


Peculiar and toughest morning

imageJust had one of the most peculiar and toughest mornings.
I’m sat oblivious to my surroundings, in a world of my own mulling over the last few years.
Just as I was about to break down, I hear a friendly voice shouting my name… I looked up and saw my 3 closest friends… 3 people who I haven’t really made time for lately, and when I do see them I close up and shut them out of me.

I don’t know, but it’s true…
Friends pop up at the time you most need them, and when you least expect to see them.
It saved me from breaking, and undoing the hard work, I’ve had with my head over heart feelings of late.
Just sitting drinking cups of tea and coffee, talking of random things, saved me from myself.

The last few days, I have felt well in body and mind, no tears have dropped and I found peace in a listening ear. 🙂 ( thank you )
Maybe feeling so shattered has changed my positive mind-set, that’s the only thing I can put my finger on at the moment.
I’m just glad I could snap out of it before darkness came flooding back.

Hopefully now my day, will move forward with a spring in my step and joy in the space where my heart once lived and loved.

I’m taking everyday as I can, and fighting my way to recovery, not just in body, but in heart to.
Here’s hoping that my head over heart method works.
Learning to not feel is hard, I’m hoping I can win this battle.

Life is my gift and I plan to smile when I can and live it the best I can, in time maybe peace and a heart beat will follow.

Alive and breathing

imageAnother friday has come with that beautiful day making its first steps like ourselves starting to live the day again.
Alive and breathing..!!
Live for today never what’s up for tomorrow. You have to be in the present to get the present.
We Don’t have the time machine to take us back to yesterday, sadly.
Tomorrow is still uncertain so live for today.. your fullest.
Enjoy while we are alive as long as we do not impose our views, opinions and beliefs to others.
As long as you are living and enjoying your life today.
You can forget the rest, we at least try to.

To be alive

imageA beautiful day begins with a beautiful mindset.
When you wake up take a second to think about what privilege it is to simply be alive and healthy.
The moment you start acting like life is a blessing then life will start to feel like one.
Time spent appreciating is time worth living.

Dare it …..

imageTime passes so fast and we live those moments called life.
Fear of the unknown can really mess with you.Don’t be afraid to take chances of change.
Take a risk.
Life would be more exciting if there are changes.
When you fear of the unknown you prevent yourself from gaining new experiences which is the essence of life itself.
Dare it
Live it
and smile.

extremely passionate

imageI’m extremely passionate about passion. I’m not sure if I can say that, but I am. I love it when I see someone’s eyes and face light up talking about something they adore.
Everyone needs that ‘something’ whether it’s in the form of a sport, music, science, or in political sense.

I think passion is a fundamental factor in a friendship or a relationship, even if those interests differ.
It’s nice to open up and ramble on about what you like.
It’s even better when the other person pays attention and asks questions even if they don’t care or have a clue what you’re talking about – It shows they care.
You’re showing them what makes you tick.

I love seeing dedication. I love seeing someone driven to succeed or achieve. If you have no interests, it shows.

The calendars of fools.

imageLive this day as if it will be your last.
Remember that you will only find tomorrow on the calendars of fools.
Forget yesterday’s defeats and ignore the problems of tomorrow. This is it.
All you have. Make it the best day of your year.
The saddest words you can ever utter are, If I had my life to live over again.
Take the baton, now.
Run with it! This is your day! Beginning today, treat everyone you meet, friend or foe, loved one or stranger, as if they were going to be dead at midnight.
Extend to each person, no matter how trivial the contact, all the care and kindness and understanding and love that you can muster, and do it with no thought of any reward.
Your life will never be the same again.

The geek in me.

imageThis bought out the geek in me.
It’s absolutely flawless.
I KNOW it’s sped up a little, but still… it’s flawless.

Who DOESN’T love a film about Pirates? Who DOESN’T love Skyrim? Who DOESN’T love Game of Thrones?

Even if you don’t like the film, game, or TV programme… you HAVE to love the music!!!


imageNever assume that your successes of yesterday will give you victory today. Never assume that your skills today will be relevant tomorrow. You need to continuously stay on top of your game. Keep redefining your life, keep redefining your ways, acquire more skills, you are in the game for tomorrow not for yesterday’s glory.If all you can boast of are yesterday’s laurels then you are done. Your tomorrow should never be a slave to your yesterday. It is time to redefine your focus for tomorrow. Yes, you are in this game. You will win !

Dear Mum

imageMum I just want you to know I love you so much.
The last few weeks have been heartbreaking, seeing you in so much pain.
I feel so guilty that I can’t help you, I wish I could.
All I want is for you to be better and to see your beautiful smile.
It breaks my heart to see you looking so poorly and I can not do any thing to make you feel better.
You have been given a second well third chance at life and I just want you to have the best one you can have.
You have always been their for me, without question and guilt rips through me at the thought that you helping me when I’ve been poorly, could have killed you.
I’m finding that a hard pill to swallow.
Please don’t waste your time worrying about me getting better, if I have an inch of the strength you have, I will beat what ever is thrown at me.
I feel so lucky to have you here, when all the odds were against you.
You have incredible strength, that I wish I had.
I’m so very proud of you.
I love you so much.
Thank you for being the best mum I could ask for.