Open your mind.

imageOpen your mind to listen to your inner voice and think your own thoughts, not because your friends think it but because you know your inner feelings
That’s the only way to find real answers, if you’re not willing to ask for the truth.
The more you prey to your worrying thoughts, the more self doubts and anxieties take root.
Take what comes in your way with the minimum of fuss and dread and leave destiny to do what it does best.!

My angel

imageI know you know, I love you.
I know you know, I miss you.
I know you can hear my cries, my screams of pain when my heart breaks all over again when I’m thinking about you.
But does your daddy know,that my heart bleeds for him, my love grows stronger with every passing second.
Does he hear my whispers of love when I close my eyes and try to sleep.
Does he feel my kisses in the breeze that I send to him when morning breaks and the day surrenders to the darkness.
Does he know that I still love him with all my broken shattered heart, does he know how I long to see him, how I long to see his smile and hear his voice.
Does he know that I can’t stop the love I have for him.
I wish he knew.

We surrender

We live between the act of awakening and the act of surrender.
Each morning, we awaken to the light and the invitation to a new day in the world of time.
Each night, we surrender to the dark to be taken to play in the world of dreams where time is no more and happiness is found in dreams of the one you love.
Dreams where you are whole again, where there is no heartache and pain, just delight in the arms of the person you love, worship and adore. Dreams are what you long for and how life should be, for me waking is the nightmare.
No matter if it’s day or night,
Live every hour and experience your every time like it is your last one.
Feel every emotion, sing every song that floats into your mind, and dance like no one is watching.
Free you mind and body and breath in the air that keeps you alive.
You never know what is going to happen tomorrow, make the most of day.

Is it wrong ????

Is it wrong
.
.
.
.
.
To miss you this much?

Is it wrong
.
.
.
.
.
To love you this much.

Is it wrong
.
.
.
.
.
To want you in my life as much as I do.

Is it really that wrong
.
.
.
.
.
To hope that one day, I will see you.

Is it wrong,
.
.
.
.
.
To want to hold you, love you, care for you and love you some more.

To me it’s not wrong, it feels deep within my soul, that I’m meant to be with you, loving you, every second of every day.

I can’t, I just can’t :-(

imageAs I get ready to do my first trip to the hospital, 3 appointments this week and maybe if my bloods are not as good as they should be by Thursday, they may keep me in.
I can’t do another stint in hospital, I just can’t.

If only I had his hand to hold I could find the inner strength in me that only he can bring out in me.
I have to do some positive thinking which some days seems to be a huge challenge so here goes nothing …….

One more day that we are alive and lucky to drink our morning coffee and see the first light of the sun.
Each day means a new twenty-four hours.
Each day means everything’s possible again.
We live in the moment, we die in the moment.
It is a new day to count your blessings and start living your life again.
It is another chance for you to smile and be happy.
We don’t need much.
Only the wind on your shoulder to dream and hope again..!!

Small steps too my road to recovery.

imageAs part of my road to recovery, I’ve been told by my Gastroenterologist,that I need to try to eat and when I do’ I have to eat healthy.
But that means…… cooking!
I once loved to cook, but now it’s just a painful memory :-/

I’m finding it hard to get back into the kitchen, without the tears flowing, but needs must, so I have battled with the tears and the heartache, remembering what fun we use to have, trying new things out, and making cakes with salt instead of sugar. (the end result was pretty damn good, Ross’s icing was awesome if I do say so myself.)

So I have to eat and eat healthy.
I start my day of with

Strawberry- Banana Smoothie

1 cup plain nonfat yogurt
1 banana
1/2 cup orange juice
6 strawberries

DIRECTIONS
In a blender, combine the yogurt, banana, juice, and strawberries for 20 seconds. Scrape down the sides and blend for an additional 15 seconds.

I have this again at lunch, but add different fruit I have to it eg kiwi, blue berries, pineapple etc.

Then comes the hard part,
Cooking!!!!

A few receipts I have tried out so far are…..

Saucy Thai Beef Noodles

Ingredients
1/2 cup 2% milk
1/2 cup creamy peanut butter
1/4 cup soy sauce
2 tablespoons brown sugar
2 tablespoons sherry
2 garlic cloves, minced
1/4 teaspoon crushed red pepper flakes
3 drops hot pepper sauce
12 ounces uncooked spaghetti
1 beef top sirloin steak (1 pound), thinly sliced
1-1/2 teaspoons canola oil, divided
1/2 cup thinly sliced fresh carrot
1/2 cup julienned sweet red pepper
1 cup fresh snow peas
2 green onions, sliced
1/4 cup chopped salted peanuts
2 tablespoons minced fresh cilantro

In a small saucepan, bring the first eight ingredients just to a boil, stirring constantly.
Remove from the heat, set aside.
Cook spaghetti according to package directions.
In a large skillet or wok, stir-fry beef in 1/2 teaspoon oil until no longer pink.
Remove and keep warm.
Stir-fry carrot and red pepper in remaining oil for 3-4 minutes.
Add snow peas and onions, stir-fry 2-3 minutes longer or until vegetables are crisp-tender. Return beef to skillet.
Drain noodles,
add to the pan.
Add peanut sauce and toss to coat. Sprinkle with peanuts and cilantro.

This was a little bland for me so I added a tiny amount of sweet chilli sauce over the top, it brought the dinner to life.
It was filling as well as tasting good.

This was good to….

Spicy Thai Basil Chicken

2 teaspoons canola oil
1/2 cup minced shallots
3 garlic cloves, thinly sliced
6 (4-ounce) skinless, boneless chicken breasts, cut into 1-inch pieces
1 tablespoon fish sauce
2 teaspoons sugar
2 teaspoons lower-sodium soy sauce
1 1/4 teaspoons chile paste with garlic
1 teaspoon water
1/2 teaspoon cornstarch
1/8 teaspoon salt
1/3 cup sliced basil leaves
Cooked brown rice

Heat a large nonstick skillet over medium-high heat.
Add oil to pan, swirl to coat.
Add shallots and garlic to pan, cook for 30 seconds or until fragrant.
Add chicken to pan, cook 13 minutes or until chicken is done.
Combine fish sauce and the next 6 ingredients in a small bowl, stirring with a whisk.
Add fish sauce mixture to pan, and cook for 1 minute or until mixture thickens, stirring to coat chicken.
Remove from heat.
Stir in basil.

Another I have tried is …..

One Pan Spicy Lemon Chicken Pasta with Tomato

Ingredients
1 pound chicken breasts
2 Tbsp olive oil
1/2 cup diced yellow onion
1 Tbsp minced garlic
8 oz (about 2 1/2 cups) small, dry pasta
1 cup grape tomatoes, halved
2 cups chicken broth
Juice from one large or two small lemons
1 cup water
1 tsp dried basil
1 tsp salt
1/4 tsp red pepper flakes
1/2 tsp pepper
1 cup shredded Mozzerella

Instructions
Heat olive oil in a large skillet over medium-high heat.
Add onion and stir, cooking until soft and nearly translucent.
Stir in garlic and cook for 30 seconds.
Add chicken and cook until just browned.
Stir in the pasta, tomatoes, chicken broth, lemon juice, water, basil, red pepper flakes, salt and pepper.
Bring to a boil and continue to stir often, uncovered, for about nine minutes, or until most of the liquid has evaporated.
Remove from heat, sprinkle cheese on top, and cover for ten minutes or until cheese is melted.

If I make this again, I will add more lemon I think and less pepper, maybe throw in some pineapple.
This is very yummy

So tonight I am trying

Chicken Pasta with Roasted Red Pepper Cream Sauce Recipe

Ingredients
2 tablespoons butter
2-3 chicken breasts, cut in half lengthwise and cubed
1 roasted red pepper cream sauce recipe
1 (8-ounce) package pasta, your favorite style, cooked
2 cups fresh spinach
salt and pepper, to taste

Ingredients for sauce
1 tablespoon butter
½ medium onion, diced finely
1 clove garlic, minced
1 (12-ounce jar) roasted red peppers, diced
¼ cup heavy cream
pinch red pepper flakes, optional
salt and pepper, to taste

Instructions
Melt butter in a 12-inch skillet over medium heat.
Add in chicken and cook until cooked throughout and browned, about 8 minutes.
Remove chicken to a bowl and set aside.
Prepare roasted red pepper cream sauce in the skillet. (Instructions for sauce below)
Drain cooked pasta and toss in the cream sauce with tongs, making sure to coat pasta as much as possible.
Add back in chicken.
Add fresh spinach and remove from heat. Toss all ingredients together and add salt and pepper, to taste.
Serve warm.

Instructions for sauce
Melt butter in a 12-inch skillet over medium heat.
Add onion and cook until translucent, about 3 minutes.
Add garlic and roasted red peppers, including the juices from the container. Add in heavy cream, stirring constantly until cream sauce has thickened and will coat the back of a spoon.
Add red pepper flakes, if using.
Add salt and pepper to taste.

I’m told this is harder to make.
Hardest part being the sauce.
REMEMBER to stir constantly or will go lumpy.
Get this off and you and I will have a delightful dish in front of you, to fill your boots with .

Remember that it is not good to drink chilled water with you meals, it is better to have a cup of tea, if you can stand no milk, the better it will be for you. Got to have milk and sugar in mind, or it’s not proper English tea.

Right I’m off to make smoothie number 2
Have a nice day guys and gals
And smile

It is your only enemy

imageOne more day has come and opened the door for us to live and breathe.
Accept it with kindness and respect.
Tomorrow is the most important thing in life.
Comes into us at midnight very clean. It’s perfect when it arrives and it puts itself in our hands.
It is your only enemy that knows everything from your past to your present.
Don’t be afraid of it.
Just learn from it and appreciate it.
It is your story.
It is what you will become in the future.
Smile and enjoy your beautiful day..!

Words, words, words

Some times in life, you can sum things up in a nutshell.
These mean more than most and give me a little peace, happiness, joy and sadness.
It strange that words can touch a soul so deeply.

From quotes to song lyric, to the three words that mean the most, the ones I long to hear from him.
To me, song lyrics are the most powerful, even music alone can pull at those heart string and play havoc with your emotions.