And I will always love…..

imageA few years ago (I still like to think it was the day my heart began to feel for the very first time.)
The day I began to fall head over heels in love with the man of my dreams, not only that but my best friend and soul mate.
It was the beginning of something so beautiful, so tongue tangling delicious, butterflies dancing so wildly every flutter took my breath away.
Every word written, spoken and felt made my heart melt and I loved more than I have ever loved before.
Every second of every day that love has grown and grown into the over powering love I feel today.
And even though I am forbidden to express that love, feel the feelings that I feel and I’m fighting everyday not to spend my days crying for my one true love. I still love him, I still remember every memory, every touch, every kiss, every I love you.
And I smile at having that time with the man I will always love, the man who will always be my soul mate and always be my best friend.
Because even though he has been taken so cruelly out of my life, it doesn’t stop the feelings.
Even the days were I want to hate him, that I look back and wish I had never answered that pm he sent me, I wouldn’t change it for the world.
I would not change the love we had, the love I still have.
Because I know the love I have for him will always be with me, I will always love him. My one true love Ross Marks.

And just for the record, so I have spelt it out to the world.
When really all I want is for him to know.

I love love love you Ross Marks and if you ever ever change your mind about me and see how much I love you and that no one will ever love you as much as I do.
If you ever miss me (which I know you don’t) then please just somehow let me know and I will drop everything and come running to you.
Because you’re still my everything, my world, my heart and soul.
I would still die for you and still want to die in your arms. I still want to spend every minute of everyday with you.

I really do love you, I always will.
My friend Dan, wrote a song for me, well really it’s for you from me.
It comes with all my love and heart and I hope that you one day hear it.
I love you Ross, your still my dream, my heart and my soul.
I love love love you.

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imageYou can’t forget the past because first of all, it’s impossible to.
If you forget, then it means you will forget the lessons you learned and the wonderful feelings you had/have.
Embrace your past, appreciate your trials and tribulations, those are the most important times in your life because pain creates power within the soul.
It doesn’t weaken you, it’s actually strengthens you.
It’s the pages of your book of life.
Your past is you, it’s what made you who you are today.
It’s the reason you feel and love.