Sometimes we need a sign that we’re on the right track and that everything will be okay.
Was Ross pulling me back my sign, if not what does it all mean.
Why would I see him so clearly ? why would I hear him as loud as I did ?
Why was it our memories I saw as I fall into death ?
Why just why if it wasn’t a sign ?

I have no idea, where my life goes from here, or what I have to do ?
I know though that this ache, an ache in the pit of my tummy, it’s unsettling and all the while I know I should be glowing with joy that I’m here, sadly I’m not.
I feel sad, very, very sad, that in those moments I saw everyone I love.
The most important people to me, apart from Marly-Kate.
Two were wanting me to come to them and he was pulling me to him.
How very cruel was that moment.
My heart has been ripped out all over again and the darkness is so painful.

What is the reason his power controlled those moments ?
Why am I here if there is no meaning to it all ?