I have always love Christmas, not so much the day but the build up.
So what changed in me, that now I see no sparkle or joy for it in my heart.
I guess it’s the fact that, christmas reminds me of the people I can’t be with.
I feel this sadness welling up at me of not seeing certain people open there pressies that I have put love and attention to.
Seeing their faces light up as they catch a glimpse of what’s inside the badly wrapped gift.
A gift brought not because I felt I had to but because I wanted to see that smile, the joy of receiving something hand-picked for them.
All the thought I had put into their gift, shines through that factory made object.
They saw for the first time, that love, friendship and a little of me can really be given.
To me this is what made Christmas magical.
It was the joy of giving, the joy of touching someone deep within their soul.
My sis and I always took special time and thought into our gifts especially for each other.
Maybe the magic of Christmas disappeared when she left this world.
Or maybe it’s that there are no many people left that I can give the thought, love and attention to.
For I have lost the most important people in my life and I guess Christmas now reminds me of not being able to love them, surprise them.
A few remain but for reason I can’t show them, how much they mean to me, through a gift.
A dear dear special friend, I had the honour of giving her a gift, but I so wish I had, had the time to show her through her gift, what she means to me.
Hopefully she already knows and maybe will feel a little glow of warmth when she opens it.
I guess that’s why from somewhere deep inside of me, I decide to make most of my gifts this year.
For some reason that just seemed to me more special than running to the shop and buying something random that you think they may like.
A home-made gift, just felt right this year, I don’t know really why but it did, and no it isn’t to cut costs, it’s really not cheap to make things, but it’s so worth it, the love and respect you put into every single pressie, is worth so much more than that bargain find on the net.
Anyway I have gone off track here.
So what is it about Christmas that is so magical?
I remember the feeling of loving the lights, sparkling with new hope, like little fairies twinkling.
The smell of the Christmas tree filling the room with a joy of running through the forest as a child.
The frosty mornings where the world is alight, fresh and beautiful.
Orange and lemon slices, sherry, chocolate oranges and all those Christmas goodies that are scattered around the home so guests feel welcome.
The smell of baking, the one time of year that we all pull out our cook books and try to be Jamie Oliver, knowing that the first attempt will end up in the bin, but boy we all are determined to cook at least something from scratch.
It really doesn’t matter what you cook it’s the smell that drifts around the home that is really magical even if burnt, that’s the Christmas that will be remembered and laughed at, the year that you burnt everything.
Something so simple will make a fondest memory.
Like the year the cat ate the turkey.
she really did, nothing left apart from bones, at least the cats had a great Christmas, lol)
Doesn’t that sum Christmas up, it’s making memories.
Are not some of your cutest memories ones of Christmas past.
I know some of mine are.
Sitting in my bedroom with my cousin, crossed legged in my bay window, looking up to the sky, hoping that you will see Santa, hours and hours, watching, hoping and believing in magic. Its beautiful really isn’t it.
Or the moment when you hear the sleigh bells ring as Santa arrives by horse and trap into your road.
We would run out and give him money for charity and we would get a candy cane.
That feeling of delight, that you met Santa.
You hold on so tight to your candy, you just can’t eat it, it’s too special.
Well until your brother steals it and eats it. Yes Al I’m talking about you :p
Those little moments stay with you for ever.
I guess that’s really the magic of Christmas.
Love or hate it now, it’s here, why not take a moment to see magic, if only in the faces of others.