I’ve been such a fool

imageI’ve been such a fool!
Why didn’t I get angry, why didn’t I stand up for myself, when he was accusing me of the worst possible thing ever he could accuse me of?
why was a so stuck in my grief, that I couldn’t just hand him what he needed? Why why why ???
I know why,
Because I didn’t want to face it.
I still don’t want to face the truth, that he is sleeping peacefully in heaven.

Why was I so scared to argue with him when I was in the right.
Why was I so weak, was it because I didn’t have to except that you were gone?

Why, why, why, was I so scared of hurting him but throwing the facts at him.
Could it be any worse than this.

Why would I want to protect him from the pain I feel ever minute of every day?

Why, because I love him that’s why.