To do it all again tomorrow.

imageDoes your life ever feel like your going around it cycles but still you are so lost?
Every day you wake up, drink coffee until you feel half human, all the while your inbox is filling up with emails that you have to deal with, voicemail with people wanting things from you.
One little lady demanding her breakfast.
And still you are still in this half awake mode, running in over drive.
Baby girl washed, dresses and fed and picked up for nursery.
Finally a chance to focus on house work, yep the same house work you carried out yesterday and every day before that.
A pointless task you carry out every day of adult life and for what? To do it all again tomorrow.
Clothes in the machine, how you would like ten minutes to watch those clothes spinning around and around, just to take your mind off the million and one things you have to do today.
House work done and dying for a coffee, you sit down at your pc/laptop dreading what you are going to open.
And rightly so !!!!

Rose, can you do this for me ?

Rosie, if you have five minutes can you make me a spreadsheet for …….., no rush but I need it by 3pm.

Rosa, want to meet for coffee?

Rose, hope you are doing ok, can I ask if you can do ………..

Reminder – hospital appointment at

Reminder – doctors appointment tomorrow at ……

Rose, would you mind making me a show play list, theme ……… I need it by first thing tomorrow.

The emails continue in this fashion. When did I become everyone’s left hand woman?
Shutting down the pc, mind racing as you jump into a taxi and go to the hospital.

Waiting waiting, they are running late again, silently getting cross, I have better things to do than sit here waiting.
Then told you need blood tests and to come back on ……. For more ct scans, echoes etc
I may as well move in, I’m there every day it seems at the moment.
And being told I must have bed rest.
Sorry that is not going to happen, well unless I move in but then I’m your pin cushion.
By the time I get home I’m totally exhausted but no rest for the wicked, tea to make, plans for tomorrow’s tea to sort.

Coffee in hand I start to tackle the endless list of jobs I have to do for others.
And wait for my evenings work to be dropped off and emailed through.

Tea cooking in the background, Mars running around with the puppy, I wish I had her energy.

Tea over, half way through my email jobs from others.
It’s finally my favourite part of the day.
Running a bath for Marly-Kate.
It’s our time, time I would not give up for the world.
As I tuck her in, set her alarms and read her, her bedtime story, I wish every moment was as calm and beautiful as that moment, when she kisses me goodnight and tells me she loves me.
She’s my shining light in this crazy world.

If I could only just sit down and think but still there is work to do.
Lunch boxes etc and my paid job.
Along with my never-ending list of jobs for others.
My consultants would have a fit.

Life seems to follow this pattern and I’m totally exhausted, I feel worse everyday and I’m stuck in this rat race called life but I’m not getting anywhere,
Running running in the same spot, I’m a hamster stuck on her wheel.
No way to get off but never getting to where I dream of being.

And this is what we call life.
Hasn’t there got to more to it than this?

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