When I write about my illness I do not write to get sympathy or pity, I write to try to make people understand that illnesses are not always seen, or understood.
Take depression for one, most of us have had it at one point in our life’s but you can’t see it, you have no idea who has it and to a be honest we are all scared of it, because none of us really understand it.
We all wear masks to cover it up, we all say we are fine, when we are not but you know what, it’s ok not to be fine, it’s ok to cry, in truth I believe it helps to have that good old cry because it’s not a sign of weakness it’s showing you have a heart, you feel, you are human, it is a good thing truly it is but being made to feel weak by the people who don’t understand your pain, your insecurities, etc, etc, is not a nice feeling at all.
People judge way to much, and no one takes time to listen or to try to understand what others are going through because we are all to busy wrapped up in our own life’s and I think it’s wrong!
So when I write I try to open people’s eyes to invisible illnesses not just the many I have but for the people I love and care about who suffer everyday, with very little understanding from others.
I know that we all fear illness, we fear seeing people who are suffering through illnesses and lose, but I also know that it’s not because they don’t care but they just don’t know what to say to you.
But what we all really want is to be understood, to be seen as the same person we have always been.
All I really want to do is help others understand what life is like living with an invisible illness, I don’t want anyone to ever feel so alone as I have felt since my life took this tumble.
I know I’m loved, I know I have the most incredible family and friend support.
But even with that support, life is hard, really hard, physically and emotionally.
There are many days that I want to give up but I know I can’t and won’t because life is a gift and that it would hurt my family, also because I won’t let this beat me, I won’t let it win.
But mostly because I want to try to help other learn what life is really like for someone like me, a normal women whose life changed through no fault of her own.
I want to open the eyes of people who don’t understand that even if you look fine, that’s not always the case.
If I can help one person understand, then I will wear my heart on my sleeve and speak out about what life is like.
And maybe just maybe I may begin to feel like I have some worth left in me after all.
That all this pain and suffering is for nothing.