The mind plays games with you and those thoughts are just too much to deal with, to get your head around.
Suddenly the walls crack just a little and the emotions you have locked deep inside them bleed through the cracks.
Those months, years of trying so hard to stay strong, to stay positive and just to stay on top of every broken emotion.
The heart shatters all over again, you feel every pain, every heartache, ever loss all over again and all you want is to close your eyes, get lost in the darkness, let it take over you, suffocate you and take you away near to return.
Death is better than facing the loss, the heartache, the coldness, the silence. The knowing that life just can’t live up to what it once was.

I have no idea how to come through this, how to carry on anymore.
Loss, love, life and health have beaten me to an inch of my life and I’m clinging to the edge with all my might knowing that the one person that may just be able to save me, is the one wishing I would fall.