Twinkle

imageSince my dad came crashing into my life after a life time of dreaming, not knowing, imagining, puzzling who he was and where he was, we finally have that father and daughter bond.
I don’t know how I got through life without being able to pick up the phone and hear his words of wisdom, support and love.

From the very early days he nicknamed me “Twinkle”

I’ve offended wondered why, was it because I once was the twinkle in his eyes?
I asked mum the other day, her reply was, “Rose that is something special between the two of you, you best ask Dad”
So of course I did, and I was a little shocked by his answer.

So the real reason my dad calls me twinkle is……..

Ross dedicated to me, the song “Starry Eyed” by Ellie Goulding. He said that was the song that he believed summed me up as a person. This song has always been extra special to me since that day.

Dad also said he named me Twinkle because every time I spoke about Ross, had spent time with Ross, or had been talking on the phone to him, my eyes lit up like a starry magical night.
He said that my eyes would come alive like he had never seen before. He believe he could see the real me, the complete me, the whole content, happy me, just from having Ross one way or another in my life, no matter how.

I was kinda touched by this answer but wondered does he still see that in me.
Well his answer was a short one, simply a great big “NO.”
It’s sad, it’s really sad, that I can’t and guessing I never will get to shine like that again, to give my dad so much joy and pleasure.
It truly does break my heart, that I can’t light up my dads smile just by him looking into my eyes.

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