Flashback Friday is upon us again.
I love reading back old posts and remembering how I felt while writing the post, ok some drive me to tears, of joy, pain or loss even anger. But al in all, I find it kinda calming on my soul. And even if at times I cringe at how badly they were written the are part of me.
So today post is from a time that I was the happiest I have ever been and it saddens me that I know I will never feel the way I did back then, to feel loved, content and complete. Somehow though I am truly grateful I got to feel those feelings, to live those emotions and to know that I once had at all.
I would give anything to have that all again and be in the arms of the man I will always love, no matter how much time passes by.
So would I change things now, hell YES I would.

Would I change things?

https://icemaidendiaries.net/2013/01/15/

The pages of my life, how ever charming, delightful, traumatic, bitter and unpleasant they have been, are written.
Unmarked pages lay in front on me, ready for the next chapter.
Will they be kinder, will the dreams I seek unfold and draw beautiful pictures in my memory ?
Will the pages hold wonderful colours of love, happiness and contentment as they do now.
Will life still be a exciting adventure ?
Who can tell, it’s one walk that I will only know the destination when I arrive 🙂 and while I am travelling along the new magical paths ahead of me and leaving memory’s behind, story’s to tell, I will be learning and growing forming who I am.

So would I turn back the hands of time and rewrite the pages.
Giving myself peace and happiness and changing the negative ?

In true honesty I wouldn’t change it all.
Yes a few things I would change, just to withdraw the suffering I caused to others.
But while I look back at how nauseating parts of my life have been. I believe that I am who I am today because of this.
I accept and trust that I have grown through it and I’m strong because of grave situations I have been faced with.

So no I would not rewrite the pages of my life, I instead stand proud at the struggles I have triumphed.

I believe every path has a meaning, in light or darkness, there is a lesson, a meaning, a reason, it’s all apart of the bigger picture.
It’s the journey of your soul.
It’s a creation of your spirit.
It’s your destiny
It’s you.