Eye of the beholder

imageWe close our eyes when we day dream….
when we cry….
when we kiss,
because we know the most amazing things in life are not seen but felt by heart.
So smile and have a great day.


Not so much, flashback Friday

It’s that time again when I look back at old blog posts and share one with you, but I have never written a post on the 29th April. Hmmmmm I wonder why.

I though I would share a poem I wrote for yep you guessed it….. The one and only love of my life.

So without further ado I give you…..

“Your love”

Your love was like ice cream on a hot summers day,
Waves crashing on the shore
And butterfly’s dancing in the breeze.
White fluffy clouds drifting ever so gently across the horizon,
Picnic baskets full of strawberries and cream.
Candy floss and toffee apples, as the sky alights on bonfire night.
The sparkle of the lights on the Christmas tree and the roaring fire flames on a winter’s night.

Your touch was like a mug full of costa coffee, warming me from the inside to the out.
Dancing to the perfect melody, so sweet. It takes your breath away.

Your friendship was the perfect lazy day, full of movies, coffee, chocolate and cigarettes.

Your eyes were like the deep blue ocean, so full of soul and beauty.

You are the perfect beginning to everyday and the perfect end to every evening.

I’m head over heels in love with you.
Forever and always xxx

“It’s a total figment of your imagination.”

Life is change, it is forever moving.
Staying stuck is a choice. For it is a choice, not a chance, that determines your destiny.
The road may be long, but it’s wide open. If you don’t like the way your life is at the moment, you have the choice to change it.
Actually, you owe it to yourself to change it. But you can only shift your current situation one small step at a time, to get through even the most difficult times and circumstances you need to take baby steps, and you must keep on stepping.

You must try to accept your current situation, take responsibility for it, learn from it, make the necessary changes, and move forward.
If you’re doing big things and pushing for your dreams, you are bound to encounter situations that scare you and make you feel uncomfortable.
So what.
Move forward.
Remember that the extent to which we sometimes allow fear to rule our lives is truly startling and unnecessary. Especially when you consider one very important fact about fear,

“It’s a total figment of your imagination.”

What you seek, whether you realize it or not, is the actual feeling of being alive and living your life your own way. You don’t have to satisfy everyone else. You just have to find something to believe in, something that anchors you and keeps you looking forward, regardless of what others are doing or saying. For it is better to live your own destiny imperfectly than to live an imitation of somebody else’s life with perfection.

Flashback Friday

imageThis weeks been a slow, stressful one, on top of that I have a really bad chest infection and feel just blurrrr. Could do with a little TLC and hot chocolate in bed but sadly I can’t I have way to much to do and we women just have to get on with it. (Why is that?)
But it’s just one more wake up to the weekend, so hopefully we can have sofa days with movies, duvets and lemsip.
It’s funny, this flashback couldn’t be more fitting for my weekend. On that note I will leave you with a post from April 22nd 2013



I have grown up on fairy-tales and a life time of dreaming, but is there truth in the,


Do dreams come true, does the knight come riding in to save the day.

Is there such a thing as the perfect match, the too good to be true romance, the endless butterflies.

While I am biased to this, because right now I feel there is.

Has the media, imbedded images in our heads, made us long for something that many will never find ?

Has Disney, made us, want more than we can possibly ever gain.

Where I know I am well on my way to my happy ending, that life has finally become kind, I know, every girls dream, is to be brushed off her feet and magic to unfold, to fall in love with the most incredible guy that she has pictured since child hood.

My advise to you if you are still hoping for that Knight, they don’t come on horse back, or in shiny arma, they come in the simplest ways and without you even knowing about it. it will hit you between the eyes and you never see the sphere the same again, and even though, its out your control how long you keep him in your life, while he is there you have your happy ever after, you can dream together, love one another and live. And while you have the happiness, if and when it goes, you still will have that happy ever after, as you have memories and heart-felt treasures.


I’m so hurt by people judging me, just because I don’t always look ill, it’s doesn’t mean I’m not. Unless you have these god damn diseases you have no idea how I feel every day, and how hard life really is.
Until you have walked in my shoes, do NOT judge me or pretend to know what I’m going through or how I feel.
Do not assume just because I don’t always look sick that I’m fine. Do not put it down to me having lack of sleep or that I can’t be bothered because that is so wrong, that I would give to be able to do what others find easy and don’t even have to think about.
I’m sick of living in a world that has no compassion or understanding.
People really need to open there eyes, and see the bigger picture, to open their ears and listen but most of to NOT judge what they know nothing about and not to walk out of people’s life’s because they can’t do what every other Tom, Dick and Harry can.
Lupus is a very slow, very painful, invisible death sentence
Rant over!!!

Flashback Friday

It’s Friday, whoop, whoop
Time to reflect
So without further ado, I give you……
Our hearts are drunk with beauty, our eyes could not see.


I read something today, which made me think about beauty and image.

If Barbie was an actual woman, she would be 5’9” tall, have a 39” bust, an 18” waist, 33” hips and a size 3 shoe. Her head would be the same circumference as her waist, meaning she’d have room for only half a liver and a few inches of intestines. The result: chronic diarrhea and death. Also, she would not be able to menstruate. If Barbie was a real woman, she’d have to walk on all fours due to her proportions, her feet are so disproportionately small, her chest would pull her forward onto her toes.
Barbie calls this a “full figure” and likes her weight at 110 lbs. At 5’9” tall and weighing 110 lbs, Barbie would have a BMI of 16.24 and fit the weight criteria for anorexia. Because Barbie’s neck is twice as long as the average human’s, it would be impossible for her to hold up her head.

And yet this is the ‘person’ almost every teenage girl longs to look like.

I have worked in fashion for over ten years now, but I hold very different views to many others in the business.
I don’t follow trends and dress to please me and not others
To feel comfy is the most important in my books.
Why dress like everyone else just to fit in.
Why be a sheep, just to feel like you are on the same level as others around you.
Each person is very different in personality so why not show this through what you wear.
Show the real you.
If people are going to be your friend, shouldn’t it be for who you are and not what you wear.
It should be about inner beauty, that shines from your soul.

As for what makes us beautiful, what is it that people see?
Do they see just your shape, your size, your bottom or your bust, and make their judgement, just on these?

Is it your face, your bone structure ?
Or do they look deeper ?
Your smile, your eyes, the way you play with your hair, or stick out your tongue while thinking.
Is there something more than we first see ?
Is there an energy that draws them to you. Inner beauty maybe?

For me on first glance it’s the eyes that capture my mind and heart.
Looks do not mean anything, your just a shell of bones, muscle, fat and skin.
What lies beneath this shell is what I call beauty.
This is you.

Not the clothes you wear, the make up you plaster on, in an aid to make yourself more beautiful.
Strip away the make up, and you are already more beautiful.
Look deeper at a person to see who they really are, who you really are.
For Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart.

Rejoice in the lines that grow with age, as each have a story to tell.
Dress how you want, be as wild or as plain as it suits you.

As my dad tells me often
“The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched – they must be felt with the heart”

So why is it, that some people can not see past skin, body shape or the clothes they wear?
Why do we feel we have to follow trends and fit in ?
Why have we become clones of each other.
Why are we loosing our own personalities to fit in ?

I hope to blog about this at a later date, but it’s food for thought for you.
And please remember, these are just my views. They could be wrong or right.
It’s up to you to find your own and grow as a person through what you believe in.
Never give up your own views or personality to suit others
Be head strong and true to yourself because only you have to live with yourself .

Stay safe and free
Be you .


Realize that not all movement is progress. When stress and tension and chaos surround you, pause for a moment and relax. The best time to take a deep breath is when you don’t have time for it.
Select a specific challenge, deal with it, and then move calmly and confidently to the next. When you’re being pulled in multiple directions at once, take time to remember what you value most.
Focus on what’s most important to you and you’ll naturally direct your greatest energy to the right source.
Life is filled with either problems or possibilities. What you see is what you choose to see.
On the surface life can seem tumultuous and perplexing, yet deep inside, where it truly matters, life is what you make of it.
Choose to see beyond the problems to the possibilities that await your attention.
Live every day of your life in full.
Experience the highs and the lows, the positives and the negatives, and all the moods present between the various extremes.
Don’t focus on simply being happy.
Focus on living a well-rounded, seasoned life.
Focus on achieving completeness. Yes, happiness is part of this completeness, but so is sadness, difficulty, frustration, and failure. And overcoming these latter points supports your personal growth far more than constant happiness.
The feelings of happiness and fulfillment are nice when they happen, and they are needed, but they don’t strengthen you.


Peace can happen within you at any place and at any time. It’s always there, patiently waiting for you to turn your attention toward it.
Peace of mind arrives the moment you come to peace with what’s on your mind. It happens when you let go of the need to be anywhere but where you are, physically and emotionally. This acceptance of the way things are creates the foundation for inner harmony.
The need for something to be different in this moment is nothing more than a worry, and worries simply lead you in circles. Acceptance will bring you back to your peaceful, productive center.
Remember, the same part of you that longs for peace is the part of you that experiences peace. It is not complicated to achieve and is as close as your next thought.
Don’t pray for the big things and forget to give thanks for the ordinary, simple, and yet not so small gifts in your life.
It may seem strange to feel thankful for those events in your life which appear to be ordinary, yet it’s precisely by being thankful that you can transform the ordinary into the extraordinary. You may not see the value in spending time and effort acknowledging all the little, seemingly insignificant things in your life, yet without the little things there would be no big things.
We can all benefit from not letting what was once a miracle become common to you. Don’t get so accustomed to life’s goodness that you overlook it.
Let your enthusiasm rise from the doldrums by being thankful for what you have. Seize every opportunity to be appreciative. Make genuine gratitude a constant companion to who you are, in all that you do.

Silver lining

Good morning.
Sometimes it doesn’t take as much strength to do things as it does to decide what to do, we all know life is filled with difficult decisions. And as you move through life you will come up on many forks in the road where both paths look equally as promising.
The important thing is not which path you choose, but that you do in fact choose a path.
Deciding sometimes hurts.
Not knowing which path to take can be painful. But nothing is more disheartening than never making a decision.
If you never choose a road, you will never know where it leads. So when you’re faced with two equally good options, don’t be one of the people who choose the third option, to not choose because mistakes and setbacks are simply a form of practice. If the road is easy and free of bumps, you’re likely going the wrong way. The bumps in the road teach you what you need to know to progress down a path that is all your own.
Sometimes things have to go wrong. Sometimes your need to change a flat tire or two before you can move along that road.
Just try to remember to not miss the silver lining because you are looking for gold.

Flashback Friday

It’s Friday, whoop, whoop.
Another week is over, this year is flying by already, I can’t believe it’s April already.
I’ve had a learning curve of a week, one of extreme highs and lows, days of feeling that the world is a very cruel, judgemental, nasty place. But also I’ve been able to see the good in life also.
I’ve learnt that some people are just out there to cause an argument and hurt people’s feeling just because they can.
Judgement has always been a strong hate of mine, Sadly it got the better of me this week and brought me feelings of anger to tears. Why can’t people just be nice to each other.😤
Anyway with that said and done, it’s time to burry those feelings and live life the best I can with the road I’m traveling on.
Life is what you make it, and we should all try to enjoy it the best we can, because life is way to short.
The flashback below is a reminder that life can change at any given moment.

To be loved ❤️


It’s been a while since a last blogged, sorry about that.
Life got taken over and I had no control.
One minute I was pottering around at home and the next thing I knew, I woke up in hospital nearly a week later, with my mum and dad holding my hand at my bedside.

It’s so funny how one minute I was in certain place, the next somewhere different and I have lost days.
It’s a strange feeling to say the least.

All I can say is Thank you to the people in my life that pulled together in my hours of need, from baby sitting my wonderful daughter, to looking after my puppy and spoiling them both rotten. To all my friends, packing up my house ready for my life changing move.
That must have been so hard for them, not knowing if they were packing up for a move or if they were packing up my belongings incase I didn’t pull through.
Guys I really can not thank you enough, you all are truly inspirational and wonderful friends.

The best thing about this whole situation was seeing my daughter and pups faces when I arrived home yesterday.
No sure which one wanted more cuddles.
It sure was a mad dash to see who could get to me the fastest.
Very very cute and heart warming.
That feeling of being loved is overwhelming and such a great feeling.
I guess it takes a grave situation to see how very lucky I am.
And even though I feel like I have been pulled through a hedge backwards, I really couldn’t feel more loved than I do right now.

I have forgotten how nice it feels, the strange thing is it’s always been there but I guess we all wear shutters to the delights of every day feelings.
We are all so blessed everyday, we just need to take a minute to look around, open our hearts and let ourselves feel it.

Right now I feel very lucky to feel air in my lungs, sun on my skin and love in my heart.

No matter what life throws at you, the knowing that you are never alone is over powering and it gives me a reason to keep fighting.
Life is way to short, I’ve learnt this lesson the hard way over the last few years.
But some moments which turn into memories makes life beautiful and breathtaking.