imageGood morning. Another day, another chance to live and feel grateful about it.
Have an amazing day.
While I struggle with trying to lift myself up and I try my hardest to push the pain deep down below, I have to try to find peace and hope that life really is beautiful.
I know for sure that it’s a rollercoaster, one I wish to get off at, at times. The good, the bad and the damn right ugly have a way of keeping me trapped along these tracks and while I know that it’s the journey of life and we need a balance, I just wish that more happiness was thrown my way.
I know that life can be amazing, I’ve been there, I’ve felt it. I just need to remind myself of that at times.
So here goes, a little positive thinking, which I hope will get me through the day with a smile of my face and a spring in my step.
Make your gratitude list longer than your worry list. Don’t let a bad moment ruin your day.
Think of it as a bad minute, not a bad day, and you’ll be okay. Stress thrives when your worry list is longer than your gratitude list.
Happiness thrives when your gratitude list is longer than your worry list. So find something to be thankful for.
And remember, pretending to be happy when you’re struggling is just a small example of how strong you are as a person.
When it rains on your parade, look up rather than down, because without the rain there would be no rainbow.


Broken soul

No words can even start to make anyone one understand the pain of yesterday.
No kind actions by others can help to ease it.
No amount of tears can wash away the devastation, the longing, the heartbreak.
No amount of time can heal.
There is nothing in this universe that can even start to explain to you how I felt yesterday.
No just yesterday but every day, but yesterday it all seemed that little worse but the heartbreak never goes away. It eats away a me, day in day out and there is no way to stop it.
My family and friends tried so hard to make it a beautiful day, even the sun shone on us, but as always there is this gaping hole in my heart.
Part of me is missing and no amount of tomorrow’s can heal it.
No amount of hugs can warm my broken soul.


Someday you will look back on your life and realize that everything worthwhile you’ve ever accomplished initially challenged you.
And maybe just maybe that is as it should be, because big challenges often prepare us ordinary people for an extraordinary success. Every struggle arises for a reason, for experience, for a lesson.
They say…….

“A great journey is never easy, and no dose of adversity along the way is ever a waste of time if you learn and grow from it.”

Flashback Friday

Firstly I have to say sorry for not portly recently. Life took an unexpected turn and I had a week of bed rest and infusions.
Finally home and thankful to all that helped out st short notice. It was a hard long week, stressful and very little sleep. That may be a good thing, the way I see it, night terrors are best avoided.

So anyway let’s get straight to the point
It’s Friday and yes it’s that time again to flash back into the past.
So once again without further ado, I give you

A heart that never hardens, and a touch that never hurts.


The power of touch, something so special that the world can see but only your can feel. I have never seen the importance of touch and the meaning behind it until about a year ago, when my views were changed and I began to understand how wonderful and powerful a small touch really is.

A small token of a squeeze of the hand when you need support. A stroke of the skin, to know you are wanted. A hug to give either love or support.

In the last few days, I have learn more so, how important these little gestures are. The most important one being the holding of hands, so much can be learnt from this alone.
When a hand is in hand, two bodies become one, you bond on a level, that only the two of you can feel.
You gain acceptance and truth, mixed with hope, trust and love. You are suddenly not alone in the strange universe, you have meaning for existing.
And while I do not know where I am going with this blog or its point or purpose, I know deep within my heart, the words and meaning I am trying to say, and as they get lost before I can find away to express the feeling that run through my soul and I have no way to explain, what I’m desperately trying to get across, I know right now I’m lost and alone, but I have full understanding that when his hand is in mine that life becomes beautiful all over again, that when he touches my skin, I become alive. When our lips met, I’m no longer alone.
No words are needed when our two souls exchange the simplest touch. Words lose their meaning and I can feel the gift he is giving me, from one movement alone.
So maybe the meaning to this blog, is, to try to say, don’t always use words, speak loader than that, for words are just words, it’s what lies in the heart that matters, it’s the touch, the soul and the eyes that will speak volumes on levels that can never be expressed in words.
Hold the one you love, speak though bodies not through words imbedded in you head since birth. There is more to life than speech.
The song posted below even though cheesy, sums it up perfectly.

Have a good day guys, and if you love someone show them.

Flashback Friday

Once again there are no posts to flashback to on the 13th May ( No it’s Friday the 13th)
So today I’m going to share with you a flashback to a song that my friend Dan wrote for me about the love I have for me soul mate.

Dan is so very talented and to top that the nicest person.
The funny thing is, it wasn’t me that found his music it was Ross who dedicated one of his songs to me, it’s funny that now Dan has written a song about us.
I think that’s kind of beautiful.
So without further ado I give you……

Without You. ❤️

Here’s hoping

Yesterday I finally saw a consultant that didn’t want to pass the buck onto different departments.
She was pretty damn good. I was in with her for well over an hour having lots of different tests done.
I got to hear the blood moving around my veins and where the blood stopped flowing. She was very concerned about the lack of blood in my feet and heads. It was very strange to hear the blood stop.
She even went off to speck to the top dog and demanded more ct scans, mra’s, echos and other tests that I haven’t heard of.
She sat and listened to what I had to say, not many consultants do that, your just a number and they can’t wait to get the next into the room.
This senior doctor, was not in a hurry and it was so nice to not feel like I was wasting her time. She really did care and wants answers. Maybe now I may get more than “Sorry we can’t help you, there is no cure!!!”

Here’s hoping.

Which one

What you do every day is already important because you are exchanging a day of your life for it. But today take up a notch, pump some extra life into every hour, and really make your time count.

Make someone else smile.

Us normal people will worry today and postpone our happiness for tomorrow.
Intelligent people will be happy today and postpone their worries for tomorrow.
Wise people will only wish happiness for all, today and tomorrow.

Which one are you ???

That unexpected moment

That unexpected moment when a song starts to play and it breaks all your walls down in a split second.
You think you are doing ok, even happy in a different kind of way, but just those first few notes break you.
Your on your knees sobbing uncontrollably.
How can one simple thing, bring your world crashing down around you?
How can those lyrics bring so much joy and sorrow.
That piece of music along with the memories that go with it, are so powerful, that no amount of wall building, closed doors, cold heartiness and strength can protect you from the feelings that flood you when you hear just a tiny part of it.

And here I am, broken, bruised and battered, weeping.