Flashback Friday

It’s Friday and I’m more than thankful that this week is coming to an end.
I’ve had the mother of all headaches all week, well nearly two weeks now. 🤕
Even sitting with candle light, my eyes stream and ache like I’ve never experienced before. The pain has driven me to bed at my earliest convenience because darkness seems to be the only thing that could help, morphine just didn’t touch it.

It’s been a hard trying week with my baby girls op and my great-aunt being rushed to hospital which heartbreakingly has the worst outcome.
We now have to play the waiting game. Bless her though, she’s had good innings, she turned 91 this week. She’s had a full life, a kind heart and she spent her life with her childhood sweetheart. I’m sure she will pass a happy lady.
It’s just so heart wrenching for the rest of us.
Marly-Kate is proving that once again she is a fighter and doing so well after her surgery, she’s still smiling, laughing and enjoying all the attention she gets none stop. Bless her cotton socks, she sure is a trooper.
I’m so hoping that this will help her have a normal life and that she won’t have to have open heart surgery. Please keep your fingers crossed for her.
Work just hasn’t happened this week but while sitting at the hospital for hours on end. I did manage to complete an afghan that I have been working on and in all honesty I’m proud as punch at the finish project. I think I’m going to gift it to my great-aunt so she has a little comfort in her final days. 🎁

img_3664

All in all, it’s been a hard week and rest for both Marly-Kate and I sounds like a good plan.
I’ve been missing a certain someone more than ever this week, wishing he could be here with me, letting me know all will be ok, like he use to.
God damn it, I should be over him by now, why aren’t I ? I guess it’s because true love doesn’t fade. It’s forever.

So anyway it’s Friday and that means one thing – it’s flashback time again (sorry I missed last week)
I’m not sure if I have flashed back the post I’m about to share but after the week Marly-Kate and I have had, it just seems fitting.
So here you have it.
Flashback Friday gives you………..

Marly-Kate ❤️

Having a child with health problems is heart crushing. All you want is for them to be as healthy as they can be, for their cheeks to glow and as they grow for them to run and play the same as the other children.
Sadly my baby girl will never have the joy of running freely, taking part in sports day or having a good nights sleep, you see my princess was born ten weeks early and this led to multiple health issues, the biggest being her heart.
Marly-Kate was born with a hole in her heart, failing heart veils, mixed apnea, which is a sleeping disorder, which has caused the most distressing times. She also has a condition called stridor.
So you see life for her is always a battle.
I’m guessing even one of these conditions alone is a challenge, poor Marly-Kate battles to breath with every intake of air into her lungs.
She truly is a trooper an adorable one at that.
Apnea can be fatal in a child. As her breathing stops, the oxygen levels in her blood fall and the levels of carbon dioxide increase. She could suffer a severe drop in heart rate, which is called bradycardia.
Children who have had more than one episode in which they stops breathing are more likely to have long-term complications or die unexpectedly.
So I’m sure you can imagine how stressful nights have been and still are.
Her heart would stop a good few times a night, as her mummy, it is terrifying to say the least.
Every time her alarms blasted out into the still of the night, I am never sure if that was it, would I be able to start her heart beating again, and on the real bad nights as I sat and held her in my arms as I watched her lips and fingers turn blue as she gasped for her breath.
Fear like I had never felt before was imbedded into me.
To watch your flesh and blood fighting with all her might to just receive her next breath knowing you can not do anything but hold her and pray she makes it through the night.
And every morning when she awakes I know that she has fought for all her worth to still be here and the smile she gives is a beautiful heart warming gift but you know that when nighttime falls and she kisses me goodnight and holds her hands out to the photo of Ross by her cot, saying the words I’m dying for him to hear and she kisses him good night as she has done for as long as I can remember now, dread runs through me at the struggle she will be fighting as the rest of the world sleeps and I pray that I will get to see her smile once again.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s