I did it, I stayed positive all week and had a good week. Once again the hands of time travelled to fast and it’s Friday already.
So this week, I’ve spent a small fortune and completed my (dare I say it) Christmas shopping. It’s rolling in to fast and I just got this feeling I had to get it done. There are a few bits I have to make but those will have to wait for now.
I had a lovely day shopping with my mum and even though it took its toll on me, it was so very worth it. I’ve even taught a friend to do a craft that she has wanted to learn for a while, so all in all, it’s been a good week.
Until today that is.
I knew that today would be extremely hard as this date will always be.
Today is a special day not just for one but for two of the people I’ve ever held dear.
It’s Ross’s 30th today and even though I know he never reads this blog, I can’t help but wish him a happy 30th.
He made mine the most wonderful birthday I’ve ever had and I so wish I could do the same for him.
All I can do though is wish him a great day.
“Happy 30th Ross, I miss and love you”
With that said and as I try to push those emotions deep within my soul.
It also would have been my very dear friend Porter’s Birthday.
He would have been 40 today and boy how much fun would I have had taking the piss out of him.
I know how much he was dreading turning 40, he feared growing old, I’m sure that’s because he was so vain, lol 😂 and even though he would chill in baggy’s, and rough it like the rest of us, you could just tell, he wasn’t that comfortable. I guess that’s were we were so different, how I love, my comfy clothes, even more so now. I guess I feel that there isn’t any reason to dress up or put makeup on.
He would argue that case until the cows came home, he believed you should dress up for you and no one else. If you dress well, you feel better.
Maybe there is something in it, but I know I miss debating it with him.
So it’s flashback Friday and it’s proven to roll round on the perfect day for the perfect re-share.
So here goes…….
A message to heaven.
Couldn’t let today go by without listening to our song, so many memories, so many good times, bad and sad ones to, but you know chicken that even though everything has changed and life is now harder than ever, I still chat away to you, Zack and Jane and I hope your all happy and you remember us down here.
You know you are right up there on the list of the most fantastic people I have had in my life and I miss you, but I think you all are causing trouble together and that makes the pain of your passing a little easier. And I want to say sorry for letting you go without flying out. But I stood by your wishes, but living with that is hard. I know you wanted to do things your way and that’s why we all stayed away when we wanted to be there. Truth is though, goodbyes hurt no matter how or when, and I know you didn’t want tears, but there had been plenty from us all and you have left one beautiful lady behind who I believe her hearts bleeds for you.
But in doing so has made me see that giving up on love just can’t be done, time or life is too short.
Thank you for teaching me that, thank you for giving me many years of friendship.
Ice Maiden Diaries 
hi rose, maybe our emotions are in sync today. im thinking of a friend of mine and kind of wondering if we ever will meet again. save you a long story and you tell me if the song fits the feeling– try it with another tab open, so its just the music. take care ❤
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Thank you for all your lovely comments. The song is perfect and I totally understand where you are coming from.
I hope you managed to find some peace and comfort in the lyrics.
Missing someone has to be one of the hardest things in life, I so wish I had a magic wand and could help you get the answers you are looking for and give you the joy of seeing the person again. Sadly I don’t but I hope knowing my thoughts and understanding are with you, and helps to
ease the longing. Hugs to you xxx
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i had already developed a theory about her, and i wasnt sure i would ever run into her again– but i did yesterday. it was christmas in november. so i told her my theory, and i will tell you as well:
if you love someone more than youve ever loved anyone (or even if theyre in the top 5 or whatever) then the best way to relive that love and keep them alive in your heart is to follow what they taught you.
im agnostic, but in the christian tradition (for an easy example) this means emulating the teacher. if they showed you perfect love, then you try to show the same love to others. sadly the part people tend to emulate are the judgments and single-purpose nature of their teacher. they try to convert.
but to emulate a perfect love is to try to love perfectly. in other words, dont just tell people how great ross is– thats fine of course. but go out into the world and (simply try to) show people the same kind of love (or understanding or patience or kindness) that you loved him for. dont just expound– demonstrate it to anyone that allows you to show them that kindness. there are few greater memorials than to try to live a little more like they did.
i never know if or when i will (ever) meet her again. this is what i decided to do before i walked down the street yesterday, and there she was. dont just “be the change” you wish to see in the world– be the magic, and be the love. if nothing else, do it in honor of the one you love so much. ❤ (and thank you again.)
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