When you think about it

img_4092Why are people fighting, why Is there war?
Why do people judge and laugh at others instead of help them ?
Why is there people starving and dying of hunger yet people go out and spend £50 on a meal and only eat half?
Why do we act so shamefully ??? WHY!
We all need to turn to ourselves and start working on the inside. You have to start with the inside and work your way out. Don’t let war and religion make you turn to hate!!! I’ve never met anyone that wants a war, so why are we at war with ourselves?
Sad when I think about it !


Is the time of year

Christmas is the time of year when family should be near,
but all the miles between us, can not bring you here.
We sit around the fire with sherry and mince pies ,
thinking of the Christmas past and wondering of the time ,
that Christmas was a family time instead of distant blues,
and wondering which Christmas we will be with you.

Where dreams may just come true

img_4070Christmas day is nearly here, the tree shimmers in the background, nearly as bright as my children’s faces of joy of the things to come in the build up to Christmas.
It has just started to snow out side and the world has been transformed into a magical place where dreams may just come true.
Even though the joy is in the air, a sad tear trickles down my cheek for the dear angels that’s cannot be with us at this enchanting time of year.
As I wipe away the tear, I dream of them dancing around me in the wind, their souls join the delightful sound of Christmas carols which plays softly in the background.
Hope and joy ooze from us all, knowing in one way or another we will all be together for Christmas.

I send to you

img_4024Even though I am in a pretty good place right now and life is keeping me on my toes, twisting and turning around at full speed ahead, letting me know I’m alive and that life is one messed up crazy ride that can only be one thing – lived.
I know a lot of people who struggle more so at this time of year.
Christmas spirit is the last thing on their minds, all it does is bring horrors, loneliness and grief among so many over powering emotions.
So if you are struggling, I send to you virtual hugs and a few words that I remind myself of every morning to help me start the day with that ever so important positive attitude.

No matter how many times you break down, there should always be a little voice inside you that says, “NO, you’re not done yet! Get back up!” Listen to this voice. What you need to realize is, life is a journey, often difficult and sometimes incredibly cruel, but you are well equipped for it as long as you tap into your inner strength in the present, and allow it to flourish forward.


img_4009Yes, life is tough, but you are tougher.
Find the strength to laugh every day. Find the courage to feel different, yet beautiful.
Find it in your heart to make others smile too.
Don’t stress over things you can’t change.
Live simply.
Speak wisely.
Dream wholeheartedly.
Work diligently.
And even if you fall short, keep going.
Keep growing, and if all else fails, find the panda 🐼 among the snowmen ⛄️

This kind of love.

img_4003Life is much like walking in to a turbulent windstorm.
As you fight to push through it, you not only gain strength, but it tears away from you all but the essential parts of you that cannot be torn.
Once you come out of the storm you see yourself as you really are in raw form, still holding the passions and values that move you, and little else. These are the lusts that matter, the inner love and vows that define you. It is this kind of love that drives you forward and even when the going gets tough. It is this kind of love that strengthens the mind, body and soul.

Flashback Friday

img_3970The count down has begun, Christmas is upon us and another week is nearly over.
Everyone is in party mode and the streets are alight with twinkling lights. It’s all very magical and I have one very excited little girl. Every morning she bumps on her bottom down the stairs and eagerly awaits her advent calendar. She’s a girl after her mum’s heart and loves chocolate as much as me.😝
She’s very good though she hasn’t yet stolen the chocolate from the bottom of the calendar as I did many moons ago, lol. What’s she’s most excited about though is having time off school. Bless her cotton socks.

One thing for certain is, Christmas is very different now and even though I find it to be a hard time of the year, it’s somehow easier with her Christmas joy.
So Friday is once again with us and this flashback Friday I would love to share an entry I made into Marly-Kate’s journal back in December 2011.
It’s her name meaning and in ways it’s right on the ball, one things for sure, she has a very strong personality, an extremely caring one, very polite and grateful. I really am the proudest I can be of her. Considering the battles she has already had to face in life, she’s one of the strongest, caring, loving, determined, beautiful people I know.
I feel extremely proud that I alone have brought her up and how wonderful she is. I really couldn’t ask for more. Trust me she has her moments especially school mornings when they have to peel her off me, but all in all, she really is top-notch.
So without further ado I give you Flashback Friday with a twist.

Marly –
You Are Powerful and Determined.
You are confident, self-assured, and capable. You are not easily intimidated.
You master any and all skills easily. You don’t have to work hard for what you want.
You make your life out to be exactly how you want it. And you’ll knock down anyone who gets in your way!

You are usually the best at everything … you strive for perfection.
You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive.
You have the classic “Type A” personality.

You are wild, crazy, and a huge rebel. You’re always up to something.
You have a ton of energy, and most people can’t handle you. You’re very intense.
You definitely are a handful, and you’re likely to get in trouble. But your kind of trouble is a lot of fun.

You are relaxed, chill, and very likely to go with the flow.
You are light-hearted and accepting. You don’t get worked up easily.
Well adjusted and incredibly happy, many people wonder what your secret to life is.

You are a free spirit, and you resent anyone who tries to fence you in.
You are unpredictable, adventurous, and always a little surprising.
You may miss out by not settling down, but you’re too busy having fun to care.

Flashback Friday

img_3932Once again it’s Friday and I can’t believe it’s December already.

Fridays mean one thing…..flashback Friday.
So as I’m crazy busy, I’ll get straight to it, so here you go……

Where did that come from.

Mum and her best friend met me in Brighton today, to do a little Christmas shopping, even though Christmas is the last thing on my mind and right now my view on it is, it can just jog on. I don’t want anything to do with it, and if I hear one more Christmas song I think I may just scream.
Strange because I have always got excited about Christmas, until the last few years anyway.
Any way this isn’t about the joys or not so many joys of Christmas, it’s about a nice day out with my mum and good company, a good friend of ours met us for a few hours which was nice, he always seems to get the saddest faces smiling, my mum seems to find him so funny, she almost wets herself when with him from laughing so hard. He constantly talks about boning her. You want to see mum blush, that’s the way to do it.
So mum hasn’t been to Brighton for a while and today she asks me to show her mine and Ross’s favourite places that we hung out in.
I didn’t really want to go there with her as I find it hard to say the least to even be back in Brighton, let alone go anywhere Ross and I went together, but I thought I should do what she has asked of me, no matter how hard I find it.
She is making an effort, she is trying, I guess I should see that as a good thing.

So we visit the lanes, the beach and cyberdog, and a few other places.
Shock horror, she loved cyberdog, even brought a few bits.
Kept asking if Ross would like this or that.
Not sure if she was being over the top nice or seeing how far she could push me towards the edge.
We end up in a pub Ross and I spent a good few hours in. My favourite pub in Brighton.
I walk in and my heart sinks, tears fill my eyes and I felt like running out the door. For some reason it was harder to go in there than anywhere.
Water stones was hard enough, but the pub throw me for six.
I talk myself round and we have a drink, shame I couldn’t buy a bottle of rum and drink myself into not remembering anything.
So we are sat down and mum asks me to get out my phone and video her.
No idea what she is on about or why, I do.
So I start recording and she starts to talk, it’s a message, a short but sweet message to Ross. (Did about 5 takes)
No idea where that came from, but I’m shocked, and feel kinda touched that she did that.
Thought it was sweet of her.

So where did this new-found interest come from?
Why couldn’t she of done things like this when we were together?
Got to say though, I’m touched she is trying, even though it’s to late.

So I wave them goodbye and I head home.
Feeling shattered, not just in body but emotionally, how could one day out be so hard work, how can it make me feel even more lost than I already do and now I’m left alone with my thoughts, and as always he is my one and only thought.

I did have a nice day though, and Brett you got into one of my posts, that should shut you up, lol.