Crushing

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The moment when a song comes on that you weren’t expecting and all your emotions come crashing down around you.

Crushing

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Flashback Friday

img_4282Friday is like a superhero that always arrives just in time to stop us from savagely beating one of our coworkers with a keyboard.
So lower that keyboard and take a deep breath of freedom, it’s Friday.
Happy, happy, happy dance. šŸ’ƒšŸ¼

Sadly it means the end of half term but thank goodness for weekends.

My week has been so laid back and chilled, it’s been nice, lots of time with my little ray of sunshine, snuggle’s on the sofa, pizza šŸ•, movies šŸŽ„ and throw in a good old Thai takeaway. Best of all, seeing the freedom that always comes with a trip to mum and dads.
I just love watching Marley-Kate run free, climb trees and help her grandad with the farm. She loves to get covered in mud and jumping in the biggest dirtiest puddles that she can find, standing as still as she can in the bubbling brook and try her hardest to catch the tiny fish or to play poo sticks.
It’s the simple things that she loves and it’s a joy to watch.
The sun even came out, so we picnicked in the sheep fields and took in the beauty of life, freedom and the warmth of the winter sun. ā˜€ļø
There really is something so magical about moments like those, I can’t explain it, there simply are no words.

After the hectic week before, it was perfect timing to get away from it all.

I did forget to tell you about my week last week and my trip to see Billie Elliot which was a gift from a friend. We went on his birthday and even though the meal before hand was a total disaster, you can’t even call it a meal because it never arrived and we had to dash to the theatre so we wouldn’t miss the show.
I was totally blown away by the show, it was amazing, those children just blow us away, their talent was incredible, seriously fantastic. Those 11-year-old in all their glory, lit up the whole stage and deserved so much more than the standing ovation which roared through the theatre. šŸŽ­
In honesty I wasn’t that keen on going, but boy wasn’t I wrong, and a little shocked as the bad language coming out those children’s mouths was a surprise but somehow it just seemed to fit and make the performance even better.

All in all life has been pretty good of late and as the sun breaks through a little more each days, people’s moods seem to lighten and smiles, laughter and happiness breakthrough .
Spring is on the way, summer will soon follow.
So it’s come that time to look back, and remember past posts, it’s Friday after all.
This time two years ago, I was living the dream, I was in the most amazing place on earth, with great friends and I was free, totally and utterly free and I can’t wait to go back there.
Iceland is amazing, mind-blowing and damn right bloody freezing but that really doesn’t matter because somehow your heart, your love for life, warms your core and no matter how cold you are, that your can’t feel your finger, nose and toes, you just stand in awe of the beauty.

The post I’m sharing with you, was written just after my return and it just makes me smile reading it back.

So before I share it with you, I just want to say have an awesome weekend, what ever you have planned, stay safe and stay happy.

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A beautiful chapture 😃 How my life has changed.

https://icemaidendiaries.net/2015/03/04/a-beautiful-chapture-%F0%9F%98-how-my-life-has-changed/

Life really is a roller coasters at the moment, after one of the most fantastic weeks of my life last week, to a family wedding, to final stages of packing up my life to move miles away from everyone, to the devastating news from consultants, life has thrown a hell of a lot of emotions, hard decisions, extreme highs and lows at me.
I felt that I have turned a corner, I have been loving life, I’ve smiled and laughed and found that happiness can really exist even with a ticking time bomb over my head and a shattered beyond shattered heart.
Life is no way the same and I’m sure as sure that I am not the same person I was even a few weeks ago.
Something just changed over night and I wanted to feel happiness again.
How I felt that happiness doesn’t really matter, it doesn’t matter that I went against my constants orders so I could finally feel some other emotion apart from emotional pain.
I know I will have to live with the fall out of that as my condition gets worse by the day but boy it was worth it, ever second of every day/night was so worth it.
The feeling of freedom, hope, joy, laughter, smiles, excitement was worth a life time of physical pain.
Not much can match those few days of total joy.
Life was truly a gift, a gift so bright that the world was perfect, so perfect for those few days.
Even though there were moments when my heart wanted to take it away from me and show me that it couldn’t be perfect because it was missing one certain person.
I wasn’t going to let him take this dream, advantage away from me.
I wanted to feel all those different emotions flow through me, ones that I haven’t felt for so long.
Even though my heart wept for the what if, I couldn’t and wouldn’t allow it to win this time.
Life was pretty damn fantastic.
Mind blowing is an understatement.
I felt free totally free and that feeling alone was worth it.
Tune in soon to hear about my advantages.
Trust me you will be rushing to buy a ticket.
Stay safe and happy and smile your biggest smile because life is a gift, and it can be bloody fantastic at times.