When perfect goes wrong, those are the memories that last forever

Two posts in one day, it’s been a while since I have done that.
I know I often write about how memories are so important, that’s because they really are the most important thing in life.
Making them is easy, you don’t even know you are.
Every simple moment with the people you love, every smile, every laugh and every song, they all turn into the most beautiful power memories.
They are so very precious, so unbelievably precious because when they are all you have left of someone, they can fill you with so much joy, love, warmth, they become everything. Even though they are ours and ours alone, someone out their has written them with you, though they may not see them in the same light as yours, they still have their own version, their own memories.

All I have left are the memories of the most incredible time of my life, the time I was the happiest I’ve ever been, the time I felt while, complete and even though the memories break my heart, I’m so glad I have them. Because without them I would be totally lost in darkness, I would have lost my soul, I would have given up on life a long time ago.
They are in some ways my saving grace because with them I know I can still feel, I can still love when I tell myself I don’t/won’t. While I kid myself that I’m no longer broken, that I’m no longer in love, that I’m stepping along the right road to recovery, my memory has a funny way of telling me even screaming at me, that without a shadow of a doubt that my heart still belongs to him, that no matter how much I try to push those feelings deep within my core, he will always be my one and only love, the kind of love that never fades.but still I will keep pushing those feelings down deep and pretending they are not there, putting one foot in front of the other, staying as strong as I can, while trying my up most to build a different life for myself and Marley-Kate.
And even though it sucks that those memories, those feeling have a funny way of hurting me, somehow they bring me some kind of peace.
How can it be, that something so very powerful be a blessing and an omen?

Memories really are funny things.
I was sat here, trying to blank out my thoughts, trying to clear my mind of all its rambling and a song just appeared in my mind. (Song below)
That song took me back to my childhood, to Sunday mornings, to the smell of roast dinners and music blasting from the kitchen. To my mum singing to her heart’s content.
The feelings that came with that piece of music, with those lyrics took me back to yesteryear and I was once again a child, playing teddy tea parties with my sister in my bed room, music and singing filled the rooms, along with the warming smell of our Sunday lunch. Even though my childhood was far from perfect, I was glad to be there once again.
That’s why to me memories are everything.
Hold on tight to them.

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