Butterfly

Happiness is a butterfly, which when pursued, is always just beyond your grasp, but which, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you.

In desperate need of an uplift, my mum and friends Rich and Sammy decided to take me on a little advantage.
All I was told was to put on semi smart clothes (their way of saying make an effort with yourself) slap on some makeup and do your hair.
No much to go on, but the jeans went on, a pretty shirt and a little eyeliner, hair brushed but that’s about it, my hair is so long now, it’s the norm for it to be thrown into a messy bun, just to get it out the way.
I get picked up and we head to a little restaurant, we eat pasta and pizza, and chat happily, still none the wiser to where we go from here.
Mum clock watches so I know we must be on a schedule. Hmmmmm what could it be?
After a slow walk down a hill I see a beautiful building to the side of me and I know where we are going but to see what, I still don’t know.
The theatre is a wash with people, but not really my age group. That’s puzzling.
After we people watch for a while, while mum hunts for our tickets, Rich, Sammy and I laugh at being the spring chickens at the ball. We really are the youngest there.
Mum passes me my ticket and I now know what we are watching.
Omg it’s a love story, one full of pain, and death. Not my idea of fun but I have never seen a real opera so I gave it ago.

The Plot.

Madam Butterfly is sang in Italian but there were subtitles so you know what is going on. (Thank goodness for that)

The music was pretty amazing and reminded me of Sunday lunch growing up.
Mum would always play the same three cd’s on a Sunday as she cooked our Sunday lunch (one of my good childhood memories)
She either played, The Corrs, War of the worlds or Madam Butterfly.
It took me back to the smell of Roast dinners and the sound of mum trying her up most to hit the high notes as she sang along. 不

I’ve always had a love for The Phantom of the Opera, I’ve seen it many times at the theatre but I had never seen any others. I imagined them to be pretty full on, very loud and hard to follow. I was very wrong.

I will always remember being snuggled up in a over sized hotel bed, listening over and over again to my Phantom tape on my Walkman. A memory I hold very close to my heart.
The Phantom of the opera now hold new wonderful memories, that make it impossible to listen to.

Back to Madam Butterfly.

The plot was very, very touching and by the end, there wasn’t a dry eye in the house, it was extremely moving. I swear I even saw a tear from Rich.
The leading lady aka Madam Butterfly was extraordinary, her voice touched every nerve and sent goosebumps tingling all over your body. I really can’t praise her another.
The lead man – Captain Pinkerton wasn’t as strong, if anything a little too quite, which was a shame but still he did a pretty amazing job.
For some reason, they didn’t get the standing ovation they deserved.
And boy, the lead deserved one, she put every inch of herself into her performance. It really saddened me to think of her taking her bow and not receiving the credit she deserved.
I’ve been on the other end of a few standing ovations and that feeling of pride, self-worth and even self-love is probably one of the greatest feelings I’ve ever felt. It’s a buzz that can’t be explained, it warms the soul, it truly does. She deserved to feel that, she gave her all to please her audience.

All in all, it was a pretty special evening and an eye opener to say the least.
The older generation, are so bloody long in the tooth, so high and blooming mighty, that they can’t give credit where credit is due and that saddens me to the bone.

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Infuriating

It infuriates me so much I had to take time out from being in the same room as these two incredible people in my life. I won’t name names as I know they both read my blog and I will apologise before I rant. It’s not that I don’t love you both, it’s because I do that I have to write this.
You two are perfect for each other and still you rip into each other, be cruel to each other and push one another away.
You have a beautiful baby boy who worships the ground you both walk on. The way he watches his mummy and daddy with a shimmer in his eyes, you’re both his world rolled into one but still you can’t hold it together long enough for him to see the love that you hold for each other, the love that made him.

I can’t really understand the reason you broke it off, my view was always that you wanted the attention, the attention that was all on me at the time. You were more than welcome to it, I didn’t want it and still don’t, all I wanted was to be loved enough to be fought for.
What I want now is for you to see that this guy who loves every single thing about you, flaws and all, is worth fighting for, he’s worth more than the drama that you throw at him at every stumble in the road, even if there is no reason to stumble.
How can you be so blind and not see love, the love that he has for you is worth so much more than any negative attention you bring on to yourself and on to him.

Ok he has his flaws also but those aside he truly loves you and would move a million mountains just to make you happy, to be able to hold you, to comfort you, to give you everything you desire.
Love like that, is so hard to find, so when you find it, you don’t let go, you don’t push it away and you don’t play games with it.
You take it into your heart, you hold it there, you treasure every emotion, every missed beat of your heart, every wobble of your knees when he alights you with a fire burning so intensely your scared your die if he let’s go of you.
That love is everything and you fight for it, you definitely don’t let go at the smaller or largest road bumps, you don’t give up because your mad at him, you don’t do anything but be there in each others universe, loving each other until you leave this earth and move on to what ever may be next.
You hold each other when the light switches off and you draw that very last breath.
Love isn’t a game, it isn’t a tool and it definitely isn’t insignificant, it’s everything and when you truly lose that, you’ll finally understand.
I pray that you see that light before that love breaks both your hearts.
Stop toying with it, stop destroying something so beautiful.
Put him first before your selfish ways and look, I mean really look at the pain in his eyes, but more so, the love that runs deep within his soul.
He loved you from the very second he saw you, he’s wanted you everyday since and he’s put up with your childish games, day in, day out and still he runs at your every beck and call, all because of love, true love, love that he holds for the amazing person you can be. The person he fall in love with and has put up with since the games you started playing back in Paris all those years ago.
You often ask me why I still love, why I still can’t get over Ross, it’s because the love I hold for him, isn’t something that can just disappear, it’s part of me, it’s who I am, he’s the other part of my soul and to me that is worth so much more than anything else on this god damn universe. It’s because that love is so much stronger than any other emotion I feel and I truly believe your love can be like that to, if only you would allow it.
Take a step back and look at him, looking at you, loving you.
Take him in your arms and love him back because you don’t know how lucky you both are, having the one you truly love, the one you truly are mad for, love you back.