Dream a dream

Every little girl dreams of her perfect wedding 👰🏻
And yes I was the same as all the others, I wanted to marry my one true love, I wanted to be whisked off my feet and live that happy ever after that all the fairytale’s tell us about.
My wedding was a nightmare come true, I married for all the wrong reasons and apart from that being a mayor down fall, his family were a nightmare. Everything I wanted I didn’t have, they took over all the planning and would have even picked my dress if they could have gotten away with it.
Not that I really cared that much, I just wanted to get away from my stepfather. Unlike the fairy tales I had an evil stepfather, I was doomed from the start, lol.
I’m sure as sure, I didn’t have the wedding I had dreamed off.
That would have meant I married someone I loved. As I child I dreamed of marrying my soul mate, the person I loved most in the world, I didn’t really picture a wedding, just that I would live that happy ever after with my soul mate.

Looking back now, I should have known my marriage would end, that I wasn’t meant to marry him.
Something huge was missing.
On the way to the wedding shouldn’t I have been bursting with happiness instead of dread and tears. I cried all the way there and it probably was one of the hardest days of my life, the worst day of my life up until that point.

I realised a few years ago what it should have felt like, been like, I should have felt every emotion of love and friendship that can ever be felt. To grin from ear to ear, so much so it hurt to smile. To feel so full of love that you could easily burst.
I know this now because I’ve felt it, I’ve truly felt it. And still all we did was talk about our wedding.
Just us talking about our future gave me the most beautiful feeling, a feeling only for wedding days.
I don’t know how to even begin to even describe it. No words can match it, no worlds are beautiful enough, no words have meaning enough.
I know from even before I met Ross that he was the one I should have married, that he was the other half of my soul. He gave me all those wedding day emotions over and over again.
And even though we never got to live out the wedding we had talked about many, many times, he gave me those magical feelings every single day that we were together and even when we were apart, even before we had met, and I can not thank him enough for loving me, for loving us and for giving me the wedding feeling, for giving me in his own way the dream that we all dare to dream.