Seeing someone you care about in so much emotional torment is extremely heartbreaking and in truth I’m not coping with it as well as I should.
This lad looks to me as his mum, his friend and his guild and I’m struggling to find the right way to help him.
I’ve listened, I’ve cried with him, I’ve said all the right things but still I can’t get him to see reason, he’s still a fragile mix of emotions.
This morning around 5am I lost my cool with him. I said a few home truths that needed to be said, in hope to snap him out of the depression that crushes his normal high spirits.
I wasn’t cruel, I just told him to snap out of it, that life goes on no matter what is happening in our lives. We can’t stop time, we can’t stop rumours, we can only change the way we handle situations.
If only the hands of time would stop and let us heal, if only.
I now feel extremely guilty that I lost my cool and that the tears that welled came streaming down his pained face.
Was I wrong to try to get him to see how cruel the world can be at times and that no matter how broken we are, we just need to solider on through.
Am I wrong to be telling him that life is worth living and fighting for, when most days I struggle myself with that concept, when most mornings I fight with myself to get out of bed and face another day, so lost in grief and heartbreak that I can’t dare to carry on.
Who am I to reassure him when I feel the same as he does.
I guess when you love or care about someone, be it family, friends or a life partner, you have to push your own feelings aside and give them as much strength and support as they need.
I know with Marly-Kate or Ross (when I could) I would go to the ends of the earth to protect, love and support them so without a shadow of a dealt I will do the same for my baby cousin.
I just need to dig a little deeper and find the strength to help him through.
Imagine credit to ABC123art