I am no different

Every new year brings new hope, dreams of an awesome year, the best year yet.
The 31st December 2017 was no exception. We saw it out with a bang, one of the best New Years Eves to date. Hair was let loose, worries far, far at the back of our minds, as we danced, laughed, drank and drank some more.
2018 arrived, full of high hopes, determination and the willpower to make it the best it can be.
Well what can I say about the year so far?
It’s sucks rotten eggs. Totally and utterly sucks.
Every day has been a bigger challenge than the day before, with everyday that passes, it seem harder to stay on top.
January 2018 is one big let down.
But I guess that things can’t get much worse than they are already.
So once again, hope teases.

I started the year, very differently to last, I set no goals, decided to go with the flow and not set myself up for a fall and disappointment. I would start the new year care free, with no pressure. I was ready to let my soul dance, sour freely and take every moment with a pinch of salt and not let life’s troubles crush me but mostly I wasn’t going to let other people, other people’s problems drag me under.
Little did I know fate would crash and burn at my feet pulling me into a world I no longer want to be part of. The world that was suffocating my spirit, my soul. It wasn’t even my own problems that were sucking the life out of me, it was the crap everyone wanted or even needed to dump on my shoulders, one downfall to listening when people talk, when they need that shoulder to cry on.
My life is pretty free for worries, I have a roof over our heads, food on the table, money in the bank and clothes on our backs, my only grumble would be my health but I’ve always been determined to not let it beat me.
It’s other people’s actions that have run rings around our emotions, pulled at family bonds and rocked the boat to breaking point. It’s the actions of people whom I held dear to my heart who have grabbed 2018, twisted, turned, burnt, destroyed the beginning of a positive year.
I’ve learnt a lesson, a lesson I wish I didn’t have to, I’ve learnt that no matter how hard you try at life, there will always be bugs at your feet nipping away at you. Kicking them off really isn’t as easy as one would think and not always an option but I hope they heed my warnings, bugs can be fought back at, if needs be.
Every mother, sister, brother, will fight to the death to protect their own.
I am no different!


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