That ache

That ache in the pit of your stomach and heart when you feel totally helpless in stopping you gorgeous daughter from hurting.

This overwhelming feeling of helplessness just keeps eating away at you. Causing so many different emotions from anger, hate, desperation, the list could go on and on.

I don’t often write about my daughter as I will do anything to protect her but as I have posted about her being bullied at school, I feel I have to write this post just to get these uneasy feelings out and I don’t like posting negative feeling on her blog page. I want her memories to be happy ones and I want her to feel joy when we write her posts together.

Sadly all joy from her half term vanished as soon as she put her shoes on to leave for school this morning.
For all of you that know my little ray of sunshine, know that she always wears a smile on her beautiful face, her passion for life is a lesson to all the meet her. Her strength and determination is an inspiration. The pride she glows with when she achieves the tiny things in life is totally wonderful to watch. I know I’m her mum but she really is the finest diamond and you can’t help but love her.
She really is my silver lining.

So when she has uncontrollable tears streaming down her face at the thought of going to school, what do you do.

I so want to wrap her up in my arms and just keep her safe but I know I can not do that, she has to go to school, not just that, for she loves learning, she is truly passionate about it.

I so wish that I could somehow take control and knock those nasty bullies into next week because they deserve it for hurting her.
I try so hard to hold on to the compassion I tell myself over and over again, they must have a hard life to be so nasty at such a young age. I try so hard to make excuses for them but what if I’m wrong, what if they just are nasty children.
But it’s so hard to believe that someone so young can have so much negative energy in them.
I’m at a total loss of how to handle this because all I want to do is bang their heads together and teach them the effect they are having on my daughter’s life.
But all I’m left with is an over powering feeling of helplessness and guilt because I don’t have the power to protect her.


What do you do with a bully

imageIt been a week of mixed emotions, from anger, hate, disappointment, disgust, love, compassion.
My baby girl, started school and she hates it.
She cries every morning to the point of being sick. She exhausts her self to the point she can’t breathe because a few children have taken a dislike to her because she is different from them.
Because she can’t run as fast, and play for as long as her.
Because she likes to sit and colour or read her books.
Because her mummy’s poorly.

So what do you do with a bully ?

I think I have gone through every emotion possible.
From wanting to tell the children off, to making Marly-Kate stand up to herself and hit the little bullies, to feeling sorry for the children.
To disappoint in the children’s parents for not teaching them the meaning of compassion and that everyone is different.
The school haven’t been great, and I’m at the point of taking her out because I hate, hate, hate seeing her in pain.
But then it clicked that these poor children are not to blame but it’s the sick world we live in, it’s the media, their up bringing and how maybe they are treated at home.

All I can do now is try to have compassion for them and somehow get my daughter to understand that they just haven’t been brought up the way she has.
That not everyone has a pure heart and some people are just angry at the world.

All I hope right now is that they ease off her and they don’t change the beautiful caring loving soul that she is.
Getting her in the door of her class room is the hard part.