Butterfly

Happiness is a butterfly, which when pursued, is always just beyond your grasp, but which, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you.

In desperate need of an uplift, my mum and friends Rich and Sammy decided to take me on a little advantage.
All I was told was to put on semi smart clothes (their way of saying make an effort with yourself) slap on some makeup and do your hair.
No much to go on, but the jeans went on, a pretty shirt and a little eyeliner, hair brushed but that’s about it, my hair is so long now, it’s the norm for it to be thrown into a messy bun, just to get it out the way.
I get picked up and we head to a little restaurant, we eat pasta and pizza, and chat happily, still none the wiser to where we go from here.
Mum clock watches so I know we must be on a schedule. Hmmmmm what could it be?
After a slow walk down a hill I see a beautiful building to the side of me and I know where we are going but to see what, I still don’t know.
The theatre is a wash with people, but not really my age group. That’s puzzling.
After we people watch for a while, while mum hunts for our tickets, Rich, Sammy and I laugh at being the spring chickens at the ball. We really are the youngest there.
Mum passes me my ticket and I now know what we are watching.
Omg it’s a love story, one full of pain, and death. Not my idea of fun but I have never seen a real opera so I gave it ago.

The Plot.

Madam Butterfly is sang in Italian but there were subtitles so you know what is going on. (Thank goodness for that)

The music was pretty amazing and reminded me of Sunday lunch growing up.
Mum would always play the same three cd’s on a Sunday as she cooked our Sunday lunch (one of my good childhood memories)
She either played, The Corrs, War of the worlds or Madam Butterfly.
It took me back to the smell of Roast dinners and the sound of mum trying her up most to hit the high notes as she sang along. 不

I’ve always had a love for The Phantom of the Opera, I’ve seen it many times at the theatre but I had never seen any others. I imagined them to be pretty full on, very loud and hard to follow. I was very wrong.

I will always remember being snuggled up in a over sized hotel bed, listening over and over again to my Phantom tape on my Walkman. A memory I hold very close to my heart.
The Phantom of the opera now hold new wonderful memories, that make it impossible to listen to.

Back to Madam Butterfly.

The plot was very, very touching and by the end, there wasn’t a dry eye in the house, it was extremely moving. I swear I even saw a tear from Rich.
The leading lady aka Madam Butterfly was extraordinary, her voice touched every nerve and sent goosebumps tingling all over your body. I really can’t praise her another.
The lead man – Captain Pinkerton wasn’t as strong, if anything a little too quite, which was a shame but still he did a pretty amazing job.
For some reason, they didn’t get the standing ovation they deserved.
And boy, the lead deserved one, she put every inch of herself into her performance. It really saddened me to think of her taking her bow and not receiving the credit she deserved.
I’ve been on the other end of a few standing ovations and that feeling of pride, self-worth and even self-love is probably one of the greatest feelings I’ve ever felt. It’s a buzz that can’t be explained, it warms the soul, it truly does. She deserved to feel that, she gave her all to please her audience.

All in all, it was a pretty special evening and an eye opener to say the least.
The older generation, are so bloody long in the tooth, so high and blooming mighty, that they can’t give credit where credit is due and that saddens me to the bone.

It’s yours

imageThey say “Life is what you make it.”
I haven’t always believed that saying because some people including me are just damn unlucky.
In the last few years my life has been so awful.
I really don’t know how I got through it and more often than not, I didn’t want to. I would have given anything to just go to sleep and never weak up. Life was way to much to handle.
And ok I admit I have the odd day that I still feel that way.
But something hit home the other day, life is what you make of it, it really is.
I’ve just got so use to being down on my luck and struggling with the hand I have been given that I just couldn’t see the clearer picture.
One large event (one that will turn into a small event later in life) made something click this week and my whole view changed.

At one of my visits to hospital this week, my constant looked across to me with a face like he was going to burst into tears.
I’m sure mine soon matched his as he told me the news that, he couldn’t do any more for me, that I have to learn to live with my illness be it weeks, months or years, I have to try to have a life as good as I can while trying to keep my actions as safe as I can. When asking how long I at best will have, my heart sank, the long for life hit me like a ton of bricks.
I’m sure he saw the panic in my eyes and he took my hand and told me the news I was dreading to hear.
At any time, my blood could clot and that will be that.
I guess I’m a ticking time bomb.
But we all are, are we not ?
Anything can happen to any of us at any time. When our times up its up, what’s the point of worrying about it.
Every day is a bonus, a huge one.
Each morning we should all be over joyed we are alive and breathing.
We should notice the simple things in life, and relish their beauty, like the way the light hits the walls in the morning sun, the butterflies dancing around the garden, the first snow drop as it lets us know, spring is on its way. The smell of coffee as it enlightens our senses, the frost of the leaves, that glisten as the world slowly wakes up, the feeling of soft crisp clean sheets, when the day looses it magic and the night sky comes alive. The twinkle of the stars be that a lost soul or a planet, they glow brightly so you are never alone or scared of the dark.
Life is truly a pleasure when you open your eyes, your mind and your heart.
Life is yours for the taking be in one minute or a week it’s yours.
Live, dream and follow your heart.